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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Me in a Nutshell {Day 7: Five Things I Can't Live Without}

This is going to be quick, since we're going to watch an episode of Dr. Quinn soon. :) So, without further ado, the 5 main things I'd hate to live without.

  1. Jesus. Enough said. I mean, he's the very air I breathe. And seriously - I'd keel over and die without him. He's my prince charming, the one who sustains my very life. And God, the creator of the universe, loves me with a deep love. The same one who painted the stars loves ME. Wow.
  2. Music. Ash and I were talking, and we both decided that we feel music a lot deeper than most people. And it's so true. I'd be lost without music as a way to express the deepest feelings of my heart. This includes being able to play my acoustic guitar too.
  3. Friends & Family. My family is the reason I'm still here. They give me advice when I need it, they step in for me when I need it, and they are always there for me. Same with my friends - my unbiological family members. I love them so much. And you guys! You're my followers, and I love you. Thanks for reading my blog and commenting. You guys are amazing.
  4. My imagination. This includes writing, daydreaming, and everything I use my imagination for. I could probably learn to survive without my sight or my hearing. But my imagination? No. It's what keeps me sane.
  5. The internet. Okay, so, I feel kind of dumb saying this, but the internet has helped me so much. My friends basically live in here, since most of my friendships are long distance. I also use it for school, to expand my knowledge, and just to let my feelings out. I could probably live without it, so that's why it's at the bottom of this list. But still.
So there ya go. The 5 things I couldn't live without. Guess you could say it's me in a nutshell.


  1. Cool! I love what you said about Jesus, it sounds so important to you! :) (of course in the best way possible)

  2. I definetly agree. :)

    Most of my friends... as in 97% of all of my friends are long distance. And like... 90% of them I've never even met. But they're still friends right? So it's okay.



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