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on the power of showing up

note: I wrote this post in April of 2019 (pre-COVID). It's been sitting in my drafts for quite a while, but I think it's time for it to see the light of day. It's been helpful for me to reread over the past few months, especially as I continue to try to make an effort to write, and I hope it can be helpful to you, too. i got an invite to a writers' group a few months ago, and i had never felt like more of a fraud in my life. it had been months, if not years, since i'd felt like a writer. the proverbial well of words in my heart had dried up, it seemed, and i wasn't sure if it was ever coming back. i agreed to go out of a sense of helplessness—i'd identified as a writer ever since i could remember. if i'm not a writer, who am i?  i told myself that it was important to show up and act like a writer even when i didn't feel like one, because even though i hadn't been writing, i reassured myself, i still was a writer. but sometimes the words f

I'm Alive Again {Day 18}

Today's challenge is a hard one. A time when I felt passionate and alive?

I can't really pin down one, exactly. But I would have to say that there are a couple times I feel passionate and alive. First, when I write. And second, when I encounter Jesus in a personal way.

1. When I write.

I feel passionate and alive when I write - but perhaps the more accurate term would be when I'm inspired. That doesn't happen often enough, in my opinion. When I write something that makes me proud to be a writer - that's when I feel passionate and alive. When I know God is guiding my pen, and we're writing the story together; that's when I feel alive. When I create something beautiful, something wonderful. That's when I feel alive.

2. When I meet with Jesus.

This doesn't happen enough either. In fact, I wish it happened a lot more often. There have been a couple times I've met him in a new and startling way. It was at youth group. I had recently been diagnosed with a chronic pain syndrome, and I was mad at God, to be quite honest. I didn't even know I was mad at Him until the walls around my heart crumbled to the ground. I had distanced myself from Him, just because I didn't understand why He'd given me this trial. He met me there, at youth group, and I must say, I will never be the same. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me, drawing me close. And he asked for my heart. I gave it to him, once again. I surrendered. And that's when I truly felt alive again.

P.S. - Need a dose of randomness? Check this out! Because who doesn't love bacon?

Comments

  1. I definitely feel alive during those times, too!!!!!!

    Love always,
    ~Lily

    ReplyDelete
  2. *Meditive silence* Mmm. Yes. I entirely agree about inspiration. I can't write anything worthwhile without it. It's as if writing without purpose is a physical impossibility for me. (Now I feel like pondering something. Ponderings below.)

    Does this in any way carry over into the rest of our lives? I can't stand doing something that I don't see a purpose for. I know this sounds far-fetched, but even when I do redonkulous things I do them for a purpose. (Fun and redonkulousness, if you must know.) But when I don't see a purpose I don't like to do things.

    I have never experienced life without purpose because I have never fully experienced life without my Purpose (Christ.) But when I picture anything without a definite reason behind it; when I picture Life without a definite reason behind it, the imagery is dark and devastating. It's eye opening. Whoa. I would hate it. And suddenly I understand why some people can't bear to live; they can't survive with a blank and purposeless life bearing down on them. Who could?

    I'm sorry if some of you don't understand that, but I'm not sorry I wrote it. It was inspired.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello Sky~
    Thanks for the comment on my blog! I was looking at your profile, and we have a lot in common! Love your music choices~ :)
    Have a wonderful day!
    Lydia

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just saw on your 'about me' page that your name is Kylie~ not Sky... :)I was just going by what your profile said!
    ~Lydia

    ReplyDelete

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