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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

I'll be out of my mind... how about now? {Day 8: A Thank You Letter...Or Two}

(Note: I am exhausted and NOT in the mood to do this blogpost at all. Hence the randomness.)

Dear Owl City,

You've taught me the importance of cold hot air balloons. You've taught me about fireflies and vanilla twilight. You made me want to visit Seattle and the Saltwater Room. And you reminded me that my hope lies in Christ alone.

Thank you for making such great music.

Yours truly,
-A Fan

Whoa, whoa. Stop. That was a cute blog post. But did Owl City really change my life?

Not to the magnitude that Someone else did.

Let's change this around.

Dear Jesus,

You've taught me the importance of love. You've taught me about learning, loving, and grace. You've made me want to follow You all of my days and fall deeper in love with You each day. And You've reminded me that my hope lies in You alone. The fact that YOU, the maker of the universe, loves me and holds me in the palm of your hand, still blows me away. The fact you hold every tear that falls and every prayer that's prayed boggles my mind. And the fact that you became human and cry with my pain makes my heart melt. 

Thanks for making me and molding me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for walking with me. You won't regret it. And I will never, ever, ever, for a minute, ever regret loving you.

Yours forever,
-Your beloved


  1. Ahhh. You like Owl City too? Heard Peppermint Winter yet?

    The second thank-you note was beautiful. So true. Well said.


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