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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Conglomeration {Day 10: A 10-year-old Photo}

Welcome: To a Conglomeration

v. con·glom·er·at·ed, con·glom·er·at·ing, con·glom·er·ates
1. To form or gather into a mass or whole.
2. To form into or merge with a corporate conglomerate.
To cause to form into a mass or whole.

 That's what this blog post is gonna be. ;)


Day 10: A Picture of You Taken Over 10 Years Ago

Hold on tight, folks. 'Cuz this is a rare occasion. You get to see: A PICTURE OF ME.
I know, crazy, right?
Now, obviously this isn't what I look like NOW. I've grown up a little bit... er, a lot.
But wasn't I SO CUTE?!? *fights back a wave of nostalgia*
And this is probably the only full-faced photo you'll EVER see of me. I still like dandelions... especially when I blow on them. It's annoying to my parents, but it's so romantic to watch all those little seeds scatter in the wind.
I miss those days. *wistful sigh*


What I'm Doing *RIGHT* Now

I'm sitting here staring at a plateful of kiwi. We specifically asked Mom to buy cinnamon rolls at the store. She came home with them, much to my delight, but instead my brother and I raided the fridge and have been eating fruit rather than high fructose corn syrup. Kiwi, watermelon... and chips. (That's not a fruit, but it should be it's own food group. :P) I'm so full I don't know if I can handle any cinnamony goodness. Okay, who am I kidding? I'm always up for cinnamon rolls.

Quote of the Day

Me [in an unusually random mood]: *bursts out singing at the top of my lungs* "But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night, waist deep in thought, because when I think of you, I don't feel so alone..."
Mom: "Do you really want to sit on the front porch all night?"

A Thought

God has really been impressing the thought on me of 'sheep' lately. Everywhere I go, it seems that a verse jumps out to me about sheep. Ironically, this Christmas, our shepherd didn't manage to make it into the Christmas decorations box. Mom kept it on our microwave as a reminder that we're caring for God's sheep each day. It seems that God wants to remind me of that. Hmm.


*Several* Links

I've been wanting to share this for a while now. This is such an accurate depiction of me, it's not even funny. It was also loosely based off of my main character, Reese, in Reese's Pieces, my current novel.

And despite the fact that I'm not fashion savvy at ALL, I'm on Polyvore. It truly is extremely fun to play with things and figure out what clothes work and what doesn't. If you're there too, feel free to add me (just tell me who you are. :P) I'm always looking for new sets. Here are a few of my favorites, of the ones I've made.

(inspired by the movie Penelope)
(inspired by a character in my novel with Hannah Grace)
(inspired by my novel with Ashley - for more info on that, check out Ashen Sky Life.)

The End

Okay... so now you know what a conglomeration is! I shall now let you browse the internet in peace... until tomorrow. :)


  1. SO CUTE!!!!

    Comment about what your doing right now: Yum, cinnamon rolls

    Comment about the quote of the day: I Love that song!!!

    Comment about a thought: I've been thinking a lot about angels this year. I love sheep

    Comment about fashion: I'm known as SputtyDancer on Polyvore. I'll send you a contact thingy. (don't you just love the word thingy, it's so useful!)

    Love from,

  2. You were so cute!!! I know you're a beautiful young woman now :)) And thank you for explaining the word "conglomeration". I was clueless for a second ;)
    I haven't had kiwi in awhile, and if it's in my house it'll be eaten in seconds by the fruit monster, a.k.a. my dad. But I'm up for cinnamon rolls, because he doesn't eat sweets! *Squeals*
    -Jocee <3


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