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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Introducing My Guitar {Day 19: A Talent}

Honestly? A talent? I'm afraid to put anything on this post for fear of sounding conceited or supercilious.

Okay, okay. Fine.

I like to play guitar.

Whether I'm talented at it, I don't know. But I do know that I love playing. I got my guitar in February of 2008, as a HUGE answer to prayer. (You can read that story here.) I only started pursuing guitar this past summer though, teaching myself, and now I am in love. There's just something about music that has the power to heal and bear witness to God's amazing love. That's what I love about it.

For the sake of sounding geeky, here's a list of guitar chords I know.

C, Csus, D, Dsus, Dm, E, Em, Fmaj7, G, G7, A, Am, Asus2, B, Bm

And my favorite songs to play...

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been - Relient K
You and Me - Lifehouse
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Hot Air Balloon - Owl City
The Right One - Stellar Kart
Take Me As I Am - FM Static
You Are More - Tenth Avenue North

My favorite chord progression is probably C, G, Am, and F (Fmaj7). There are a lot of songs that use that chord progression, and I think it sounds awesome. My favorite chords are G, Em, D, and Csus. Csus sounds amazing!

[/end of guitar rant]

And you know how I named my bass Ben? Well, I can't think of a name for this guitar. Except for Grant. Still, it hasn't really stuck like Ben did. It does sound cute, though - Ben the bass, and Grant the guitar. They're both named after two of the favorite characters I've ever written - Grant Stokely from Chandler & Paislee (my NaNo novel), and Ben Carter from Reese's Pieces.

The sound of my fingers or my pick rubbing against the strings is probably one of my favorite sounds in the world. So is the sound of the chord reverberating as it fades away. I know, I know. I'm sentimental. ;)

I'm really sorry to those who have commented and not gotten a response. Normally I use the weekend to catch up on those sorts of things, but I woke up with a nasty cold and have not been feeling my best. I'm not ignoring you, I promise! Thank you for all your comments! ♥ If you want to connect with me further, I'm on Twitter. :) It's the perfect way to waste time, especially when I'm sick. :P


  1. Oh. My. Word. You can play 'You Are More'?!?!?!?!? EEP!!! You totally have to post a video of you doing that!!!!!

    *takes breath* Okay, I'm good. I think it's so cool that you play guitar!!! Once I learn the drums, you, me, and Anna can totally make up a band. (:


  2. Haha, I know right? How much can we actually say about the most insanely delicious food that Bacon is?! Of course... I must say that I am very hungry for Maple Bacon cupcakes right now.... Mmm.... So tasty.

    You read that entire post?! Cool points! Bacon! And Friedo the Donut!!! :P You get all of those. :) I'm totally bummed about the RP. I PMed Lady A just to make sure that it wouldn't be against the rules, but it is. So no RP about Supper the great and terrible in her Tower of Bread Dur. :(

    You can play You Are More? So jealous... ;) I wish I could play the guitar. I guess I'll just stick to the piano. I've played for 7 years, why start something new now? ;)

    Love & Hugs,

    PS: Have some more bacon. It's so tasty. *feels like a Hobbit* :P

  3. Guitar is the best:P
    And by the way -- your header and background are the coolest.


  4. I'd LOVE to hear you play! I love all those songs :) that's awesome!

    Oh and I was totally think of you when I put that picture of Sully on my blog! seriously ;) *lovelovelovelove* ;)

    love ya♥


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