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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

"Edward. Don't lick Max." {Day 2: A Favorite Movie}

Hmm. A favorite movie.

Well, I could do the obvious... Narnia. Or I could do Lord of the Rings. Or National Treasure.

But no. Today I chose a movie that endeared itself to my heart faster than you can say "pig nose."

One of my favorite movie posters ever.


It was a Saturday night. Mom and I were looking for something to watch. My dearest mother was looking through our Netflix instant queue, and the next thing I heard was, "Have you ever heard of Penelope?"

I had, and I have to admit - I was skeptical. I mean, seriously. A girl with a pig nose? An ancient curse? How weird could it get? But Mom and I prayed and both felt at peace about it - especially since my Pip and Ash had both liked it.

Once we hit play, I was immediately enthralled. All my skepticism melted away after about 15 minutes. In its place was a familiar charm that often hits me when I watch fairy tales. I hadn't had that happen to me in a very, very long time, and it hasn't happened since.

"I laughed, I cried... It moved me, Bob."

I was surprised. I was charmed. I laughed like I'd never laughed in my whole life (partly due to the fact that it was late and I was loony, but hey.) And I fell in love with Max, Penelope, Edward, Lemon, and all the wacky characters that make up this film. A lot of them were familiar actors to me - i.e. Simon Woods from Pride & Prejudice (2005), Peter Dinklage from Prince Caspian, Catherine O'Hara from Home Alone, Richard E. Grant from Jack and Sarah (a movie I do not recommend), and James McAvoy from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (my personal favorite).

The plot was amazing, with a few surprises along the way. The humor was...hilarious. And the characters were endearing. What more could I ask for?

[P.S. - The fact that James McAvoy is amazing in this movie helps a lot too. Just saying.]


  1. Three cheers for Penelope! Actually, when I first watched it I wasn't as quick to fall in love with it as you were. I had to watch it once, or twice again before I was willing to admit I was in love. ;)

  2. I love that movie! The acting is so good, and I think Reese Witherspoon did a superb job in it! :)

  3. I love that movie too! I think I'm the only one in my family who watched the whole thing, but it's just so cute! One of those that's unexpectedly lovable. :)

    Let me see, Third Day is a close second for favorite band/artist for me. I mostly listen to KLove/Air1 since all our other local stations are 98% commercial. It's kinda sad really.... ;) Rascal Flatts is a country band that I like, though I haven't really listened to anything new by them. Diamond Rio is probably my alltime favorite in country though. There are a few others I like, but I can't remember names right now. You?

    Ah, Tormin....he's definitely a favorite. He does a lot of thinking throughout the story, and that's entertaining a lot of the time.
    Torin is a nice name. It sounds like it belongs to an intriguing character. :)
    Thanks! I only started writing plot summaries a few months back, I think. I was telling people, "Well, this story has so and so, and they do this and that..." and then I realized that I wasn't really telling anything about the story. It's a challenge though; I think it's hardest because there are so many events in the stories that I'd like to surprise people with rather than have them know everything right from the start.
    Fight for the Throne and A Time of Secrets are the first things I really focused on, and looking back over some of my other stuff, it's obvious. I have a ton of notebooks though that one day hopefully will have finished stories in them. Several are ideas I want to tweak and get back to.

    My main bad "habit" about blogging is that I'll have a post idea in my head, and by the time I click to write it, it's gone. On one I think my longest break was 3 months. It's weird how you can be super busy and yet have nothing going on at the same time. :P

    For some covers, I used Paintnet. (It's a free program.) I got PaintShop Photo Prox3 for Christmas though, and it's mostly what I use now. Paintnet is a lot like it though.

    ~ Chy

  4. That movie made me cry too! :D SUch a great choice. :)

  5. Sounds cute! I've never heard of it before, strangely.

  6. I love that movie so much! I love Penelope's outfits, and her bedroom with the swing and terrariums. Such cool designs!
    Best scene in the whole movie: when Max is singing "you are my sunshine". I laugh every time!!


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