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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Green, Green, & Green {Day 9: A Photo I Took}

I took this picture a while back, but for some reason never posted it. So, since today is the day I'm supposed to post a photo I took, per the instructions of the blog challenge, I decided to post it.

Note the mug of green tea in the left-hand corner. This is something I drink quite often.
Note the Ted Dekker book, Black, in the right-hand corner. That man can write.
Note the notebook. With the green spiral. I loveeee to write. Ironically, I don't think I've ever written anything in that notebook.
Note the green pen. It had to be green in order to fit with the photo.
(I normally use cheap ballpoint pens, or really expensive gel ones. Depends on my mood... or the story.)

I was bored one night, and all these items seemed to be lying there. Ready to use at my disposal. So I did the natural thing:

I took a picture.

Despite what Kermit would lead you to believe,

It's pretty easy being green.

(even though my favorite color is purple.)


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