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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Say Goodbye & Dental Care {Day 16}

I feel music. It speaks to my soul. And a lot of songs make me cry, whether they're sad or not. Because that in and of itself is the power, and the beauty of music.

So today, I've decided to go to both sides of the spectrum. What songs make me cry, and what make me laugh? First up: a song I cry at. It's... a Skillet song.

Say Goodbye

I know Skillet isn't typically the band you would cry at. But for some reason, I cry at this song. I know how it is to lose someone close to you - whether they die, or they walk out of your life. And I guess it's partly because there are certain moments I miss, about my childhood, that seem to be reflected in this song.

I actually wrote a short story last night. It was based on both Say Goodbye and another Skillet song, Those Nights. You know those moments where you're proud to be a writer? Yeah, last night was one of those times. The short story was so deep, so personal. And I don't even know why. It's about Brant and Grace... and their moments of saying goodbye. I might end up posting it on my blog... would you like that?

And now I'm going to do what Bleah did and post a song that makes me laugh... this song is by Owl City.

Dental Care

I was introduced to this song by someone on the NarniaWeb forums, and I laughed so hard - because I had just gone to the dentist. It still makes me laugh. "I've been to the dentist so many times I know the drill..."

Here are some more songs that make me cry, and I don't even know why...
It's Not Over - Stellar Kart
Wish You Well - TFK

And songs that make me laugh:
Maintain Consciousness - Relient K
Sadie Hawkins Dance - Relient K

The music video to this song makes me HAPPY! But that's beside the point.

Anyway, what are some of your favorite songs? Do you laugh, or cry? Or are you just shaking your head in wonder at the fact that music makes me emotional?


  1. 'It's Not Over' makes me cry too!!! Pretty cool. (: And 'Sadie Hawkins Dance' can always make me laugh.....thank Heaven for Relient K!!!!

    Dude....I SO want to learn how to play the drums!!! I think it will be a while before I learn, though....maybe some summer I'll get someone to teach me. *laughs*

  2. oh I love tfk and john reuben.. and relient k! woot! they rock. =D xo.

  3. *cracks up* Dental Care by Owl City gave me one of those rare, but much needed laughs! Wow, only Adam Young could write about the dentist and still be awesome. XD
    I tried listening to the first song, but considering Noah's back in the hospital, I couldn't handle more then the first verse before I started crying. :-P I'm a wiiiimp. Yeh.

    I love you!! *hugs*

  4. Yes! Please post the story! :)

    I love Owl City and Skillet....aah, music is so nice :)

  5. I love Dental Care! One of my favorite verses: "Golf and alcohol don't mix, and that's why I don't drink and drive."
    Haha! It's so great! I love puns. :D

  6. Currently the only song that makes me cry is You Raise Me Up by Selah. It was played at my grandmother's memorial.

    A song that makes me laugh? Running Just To Catch Myself by Mark Shultz. :) Oh, and Fireflies by Owl City.

    Love and Hugs,


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