note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
'It's Not Over' makes me cry too!!! Pretty cool. (: And 'Sadie Hawkins Dance' can always make me laugh.....thank Heaven for Relient K!!!!
ReplyDeleteDude....I SO want to learn how to play the drums!!! I think it will be a while before I learn, though....maybe some summer I'll get someone to teach me. *laughs*
oh I love tfk and john reuben.. and relient k! woot! they rock. =D xo.
ReplyDelete*cracks up* Dental Care by Owl City gave me one of those rare, but much needed laughs! Wow, only Adam Young could write about the dentist and still be awesome. XD
ReplyDeleteI tried listening to the first song, but considering Noah's back in the hospital, I couldn't handle more then the first verse before I started crying. :-P I'm a wiiiimp. Yeh.
I love you!! *hugs*
~Half-Pint
Yes! Please post the story! :)
ReplyDeleteI love Owl City and Skillet....aah, music is so nice :)
I love Dental Care! One of my favorite verses: "Golf and alcohol don't mix, and that's why I don't drink and drive."
ReplyDeleteHaha! It's so great! I love puns. :D
Currently the only song that makes me cry is You Raise Me Up by Selah. It was played at my grandmother's memorial.
ReplyDeleteA song that makes me laugh? Running Just To Catch Myself by Mark Shultz. :) Oh, and Fireflies by Owl City.
Love and Hugs,
Lia