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on the power of showing up

note: I wrote this post in April of 2019 (pre-COVID). It's been sitting in my drafts for quite a while, but I think it's time for it to see the light of day. It's been helpful for me to reread over the past few months, especially as I continue to try to make an effort to write, and I hope it can be helpful to you, too. i got an invite to a writers' group a few months ago, and i had never felt like more of a fraud in my life. it had been months, if not years, since i'd felt like a writer. the proverbial well of words in my heart had dried up, it seemed, and i wasn't sure if it was ever coming back. i agreed to go out of a sense of helplessness—i'd identified as a writer ever since i could remember. if i'm not a writer, who am i?  i told myself that it was important to show up and act like a writer even when i didn't feel like one, because even though i hadn't been writing, i reassured myself, i still was a writer. but sometimes the words f

Things I've Learned at 2 a.m.

What I do when

I'm too tired to fall asleep...

I write lists. About things I've learned at 2 a.m.

1. Sleep is elusive
2. It's probably dumb to drink even a small cup of caffeine before bed
3. Snoring can sound like multiple things, including a duck, a nasally voice, and a buzzer on one of those TV game shows.
4. It is extremely fun to sing and play guitar at the top of my lungs at 11 p.m.
5. Inspiration visits late at night, I've noticed.
6. I'm tired. Very tired.
7. Robes look a lot scarier in the dark.
8. If you scare yourself when you look in the mirror, it's probably a bad thing.
9. It's possible to be tired but simply unable to go to sleep. Believe me, I know.
10. Fuzzy pink reindeer pants are cute, but do not guarantee sleepiness.
11. Blog posts should not be written after 10 pm.
12. I should go live in Owl City. Get it? Night owl? Owl City, where all the owls live and everything? Oh never mind.

But when I look at the stars,
I feel like myself...


  1. Oh my word. I loved this. It made me wish I hadn't have fallen asleep so quickly last night. What would be even better is if we hadn't had been able to fall asleep and I was staying at your house. Then we could have written that awesome list together. ; )

  2. That was me last night! Of course, I started to read when I couldn't fall asleep... ;)

    Thank you for the sweet notes, NW sister! They made me smile and the Bible verses made me cry.

    Love & Hugs, Noelle

  3. Why thank you; I'm a big Casting Crowns fan. :)

    1, 5 & 9 are sooo true. As for 2, I've discovered that a cappuccino does nothing to help one get to sleep. ;)

    8,000? *stares in awe at the blog post* Wow.... I'd be exhausted. I got a case of post-NaNo literary brain fry when I finished Nano 2009. I don't think I read or wrote anything for 2 weeks, hehe. I didn't use Write or Die during NaNo, but I've been using for FFTT, and it's been really helpful.

    Cowriting does sound fun. I'm looking forward to writing what Mom and I are planning. We have pretty much the same thing in mind. It's the little details of the story that are hard to figure out. But it's getting there.

    Thanks! Designing covers is good when writer's block strikes. :) I'm bad at writing a pitch/synopsis for my stories, but I've got some up on the writing page now (toward the bottom). I'm working on some more of them. "Fight For The Throne" was the first non-fan fiction thing I wrote, so it's sort of my "baby", even though it's undergone a really big rewrite. It's still one of my pet projects though. It's a bit complex, so that might be why. "Under the November Moon" is sorta the same. It was my first attempt at writing a mystery, and I'm rather proud of it. "Beneath A Summer Sky" is all about the same characters, but they've matured, and it was really cool to see how that turned out. Even though I'd outlined both of them they took these huge turns all their own during writing. That was half the fun though! And I'd originally intended for UTNM to be a single book, but it's turned into a trilogy idea with a prequel; so it's also my first series.

    Thanks for following my blog, too! :)

    ~ Chy

  4. Mountie! Hello! :)

    This is Malkah! It has taken far too long to get over here, but oh my! Your blog is just LOVELY in every way! :D I will definitely be following and I'm excited to read more posts!

    And by the way, if you're applying for Owl City citizenship, I'll join you, sleep or no sleep. :D

    - Mal


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