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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

A Little History

Greetings, reader. I'd like to take you on a little trip.
What kind of trip?

A trip back in time. 
What do you mean?

A journey through history.
What kind of history?

The history of Further Up and Further In.
Ohhhh, okay.

Once upon a time, I started blogging at the ripe age of ten. 
No, no, no. You've got to start sooner than that! Go farther back!

Farther back? Okay... fine. Once upon a time, I was born. How's that? 
Better. Just skip all the details.

Skip all the...? Oh, never mind. 
So you started blogging at the ripe age of ten, right?


And, that's it. 
No more details? No more story? I thought this was a journey!

It is...
Okay, then. Give me more details.

But you said to skip all the details.
I didn't mean literally.

You're confusing me.
Sorry. Just carry on. 

Oookay. So, I started blogging at the age of ten.
You said that already. Did you start blogging here, on Blogger?

Actually, no. I started blogging on a site called HSB - HomeSchoolBlogger.
That's interesting. So how did you get here on Blogger if you started over there?

We'll get to that. My first blog was called NOT called Further Up and Further In.
But this blog is called Further Up and Further In!

You're good.
I'm confused.

Hang in there. My very first blog was titled "Kylie's Klubhouse." Now bear in mind, I was 10.

But somewhere along the line, I decided I wanted my blog to have a Narnia theme. So I changed my username to Narniagirl, and my blog title to Further Up and Further In.
Oooh. Creative. Where did you get that?

Well, I got Narniagirl from combining Narnia & girl. :P I got Further Up and Further In from The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis.
I haven't read that book.

You should read it. But have no fear. I have a quote for you.
"I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee-hee! Come further up, come further in!" (LB, Ch. 15)
Ooh. Snazzy. 

I actually like to say that God named my blog, because the title was completely random. But it stuck. Obviously.
So is that how you got here, on Blogger?

Hang on. I officially started blogging on October 5, 2006...
When you were ten.

...Right, and stopped blogging in January of 2010.
What?! You're making no sense. If you stopped blogging, you wouldn't be here typing this, right?

Right! So I guess I should say I stopped blogging on HSB in January.
HSB? Oh, right. HomeschoolBlogger.

Yes. They had an upgrade in which they moved to a WordPress platform. Now I had already tried WordPress and decided I didn't like it at all.
So what did you do?

I moved.

Exactly! Now you're catching on!
It helps that YOU'RE starting to make sense... finally.

My apologies. Now, I had already had this blog - the one on Blogger. It was my private blog I had started in late 2009 to share my thoughts with a few selected friends. I gradually made the switch to Blogger, and by 2010 this blog, Further Up and Further In, was my one and only blog.
And then what?

And then... well, here we are. With a new design and everything!
Wow! I love the purples & blues. So that was your blog history?

Yep. All of it. You can go here to see my old blog and all the archives.

Well, as fun as it was, it's time to conclude this journey through history. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
I loved it once I figured out what in the world you were talking about.

Good. And guess what? Now you know what I do when I could be writing!


  1. Hi! (It's TnBabyGirl from HSB by the way. When I followed your blog, I forgot to comment...whoops!)

    Anyways, lovely blog design! And thank you so much for the comment :)

  2. Hey, what a splendid new blog design!

    Loooved the "interview" thing with yourself. Interesting. =)

  3. Haha, AWESOME post, Shammy-Wammy! I loved it!

    I also love your loverly and gorgeous new blog design. Very cute. ;) <3

  4. I recognized the quote from Narnia right away--an especially awesome idea, I must say! =)
    Very entertaining and informative post...I was smiling the whole time. =D Yes, I enjoyed it--although as much as you I cannot say(as I'm not you). ;)



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