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note to self: go outside

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." —  Henry David Thoreau credit My phone died recently. Not like died because of its charge — permanently died. I'm not the only one whom this has happened to, I'm sure, and this isn't a complaint. Rather, it's an observation on how different the landscape of my life has been without it. I've been reading more, watching more TV, doing less doomscrolling. I found that I've missed my phone a lot less and simultaneously a lot more than I expected. And I've been noticing a difference in my mental state. My mental health is, apparently, linked in part to the device I hold in my hand 99% of the time. Who knew? However, it's still been challenging lately, for more reasons than just my phone, and my sister invited me to go outside with her. Th

A Skyline Faded Blue

It's extremely rare for me to find a song that sums up exactly how I'm feeling at any given moment. But if I did have one for today or even recently, this would have to be it.
Not much for conversation
I still find need to pray
Sometimes I get tired of walking
Through these ordinary days
If nothing else I get to see you
Even if we never speak
The harm of words though sometimes
We don't quite know
What they really mean

So let me lay down in this field
And stare up at the sky
I hope the days and clouds turn into something as they pass us by
And maybe you could settle for a skyline faded blue
I hope that you might settle for this love I have for You

I don't know where
I don't know how
I don't know why
But your love can make
These things better
Your love can make these things better
Your love can make these things better
Your love can make these things better
[These Ordinary Days, Jars of Clay]
This song has consistently remained one of my favorites, and like a lot of other songs, it represents a certain moment in my life. It represents the moments where I don't necessarily feel close to God, or worthy of him, but where I know he loves me all the same. It's the moments where I'm in the valley but I'm still holding onto hope. It reminds me of the days where the skies may seem gray but in reality, a skyline faded blue isn't far away. And through it all, His love can make these things better.

When I listen to this song, I picture Jesus and I lying on the grass, staring up at the sky. Simply being together. And sometimes I picture myself alone; dreaming of the day when we'll be together. Forever and ever.

I can't wait for that day. But for now, I'll continue to walk through these ordinary days, with my head up in the clouds, dreaming of the day when every moment will be eternity. I'm looking forward to it.

(The pictures aren't mine, but I made them look awesome. In other words... I found the pictures here, and I edited them. ;)


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