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on the power of showing up

note: I wrote this post in April of 2019 (pre-COVID). It's been sitting in my drafts for quite a while, but I think it's time for it to see the light of day. It's been helpful for me to reread over the past few months, especially as I continue to try to make an effort to write, and I hope it can be helpful to you, too. i got an invite to a writers' group a few months ago, and i had never felt like more of a fraud in my life. it had been months, if not years, since i'd felt like a writer. the proverbial well of words in my heart had dried up, it seemed, and i wasn't sure if it was ever coming back. i agreed to go out of a sense of helplessness—i'd identified as a writer ever since i could remember. if i'm not a writer, who am i?  i told myself that it was important to show up and act like a writer even when i didn't feel like one, because even though i hadn't been writing, i reassured myself, i still was a writer. but sometimes the words f

Heart Update

So, I woke up this morning, anxious to hear news about my grandpa, and the first thing my mom said to me was, "The surgery's been postponed till Monday."

My reaction: WHAT?!?!

Turns out, it's an amazingly good thing, and God is really working here. Grandpa was in pre-op when they checked his blood platelet count and found it was too low. The normal is 150,000, but he only has 80,000. So, his surgery will be on Monday.

If they HADN'T ended up checking his count, well... I shudder to think what could have happened. The platelets allow your blood to clot, and when the count is too low, your blood isn't able to form clots. Well, with heart surgery, that is a very bad thing. So I'm thanking God that this was taken care of.

They're bringing in a doctor to figure out why his count is so low, so please pray that:

  1. They figure out why his count is so low, and that they'd be able to fix it.
  2. That his surgery would go well on Monday.
Thank you so much, everyone, for your loving comments and your support. It means a lot to me, and I feel at peace even in the midst of all of this.

On a random note, my aunt posted pictures of where my grandparents' have been living/working - up until now, I had no clue what it looked like. Let me just say, I am jealous! *whimpers* ;) It's a warmer climate than what I'm used to, so they are soaking up the sun... in January. :P Here, the snow STILL hasn't melted from our storm a few weeks ago.

Anyway, please continue to pray. Thank you so much!

And finally, I just had to share this picture I found from 2009. It's of my bedside table, and in case you think I'm the cleanliest person on earth, allow me to prove you wrong.
This is what my bedroom looks like 90% of the time. >.<
As the caption to this picture says: YES the clock says 12:52, and YES that is PM, and YES I need to clean off my nightstand. What of it?
And guess what sign I have on my door? A slogan I came up with myself.

My room isn't messy. It's just LIVED IN.


  1. I love the slogan! I'll be praying and I hope everything turns out right with your grandfather :)


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