Skip to main content

Featured

note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Problems of the Two-Dimensional Variety

(The classic writer's face.)
Lately I've been having problems of the two-dimensional variety. Any writer would know what I'm talking about. They're called characters.


After NaNoWriMo, I couldn't figure out what I hated most about my novel, called Chandler and Paislee. The plot was amazing, at least I thought so. Even though it had taken a few detours, that could easily fixed and put back on track.

I didn't think the plot was too bad. I tried writing on a daily basis so I could get my free CreateSpace proof copy of my novel. But I was running into walls every time I sat down at my keyboard. And then it hit me.

The problem was my characters.

I thought I had them figured out, but somewhere along the line they surprised me. They surprised me in that I didn't know them as well as I thought I did. I had barely developed them before diving into the story, and in the long run, they ended up fake. Boring. Two-dimensional.

So, I have no idea what to do. Honestly, I have no interest in the story. I want to pitch it out the window and forget about it. For now. I do believe God gave me this plot, and it has potential to impact many lives. But I think this story needs some time to ripen and simmer in my mind until I have the maturity to handle the deep concepts this novel involves. I'll let God impress on my heart the need to write this story - when it's time. But for now, I'm not ready.

As far as my CreateSpace novel goes, I'm going to get it. Just not with Chandler & Paislee. I have a story (Reese's Pieces, for those who've read my writing projects page). I've been writing it since August, and it has made me smile, laugh, and cry. Compared to C&P, my characters are real. Three-dimensional. And the story means a lot to me. I'm currently at about 56k, and I'm reaching the end. And I'd love to have a real, honest-to-goodness copy of this book to hold my hands. A copy that's three-dimensional.

Just like some of my characters.

Comments

  1. Cool! Good luck with it Kylie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Sky!
    I just wanted to say good luck on your books, I'm sorry to hear that C&P didn't work out very well, for now. But, I am very excited to read the full copy of Reese's Pieces when it arrives!

    Love,
    ~Wren

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, I know this is kind of random, but can I copy your What I'm Writing idea with word counts and stuff? I saw it and thought it was really cool. I'll say that it was your idea, I was just wondering if it was okay.

    Thanks,
    iGirl

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Comments make the world go 'round... or was that chocolate?

Thank you for stopping by! I read every single comment and love them all. Seriously, it makes my day. I do my best to comment back!

My only rule is basic respect and honor. Disagreement is accepted, but hate and trolling is not. Otherwise, say what you need to say, and have fun. And don't forget to grab a free complimentary mint on your way out.

Popular Posts