note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
Hahah I was super confused for a moment, especially because your writing has changed a lot and it didn't sound like you at all! (: Who are you and what did you do with Kylie?! hehe!
ReplyDeleteCommunity makes blogging worth it to me. I love the people I've "met" so much. (: Including you of course! It's always super special and more meaningful when I know that someone is following me AND I'm following them. Because it's like...being friends. ♥