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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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fearless, pt. 2


{follow-up to this post.}

I've been realizing something since my post about being fearless. We don't need to be fearless as much as we need to choose not to fear. There's a difference, believe it or not. We will still have fears, but it matters what we choose to do with them. Choosing not to be fearful is vital.

And it's also very, very hard.

Bravery is a lost art, it seems. It's hard to be courageous. Fear pushes its way in, suffocating us. Paralyzing us. It makes us too afraid to do anything, much less fulfill God's plan for us. We're bound up in ropes of insecurity, anxiety, panic... and fear.

There seems to be no way out. But there is. It's called the Truth.

It's not that obvious, really. The easy way out is to keep struggling, trying to find a way out on our own. But we can't make it out on our own. We need help. We need Jesus. He is the Truth.

You'd be amazed how free I feel when I speak truth to the lies that bind me. I am a redeemed child of God. I am free. I am beautiful. I am loved. I have a hope and a future. I am His.

We have a choice to make. It's a constant, mental decision. Everyday... every waking moment. Will we fear, or will we trust? Will we believe God's words, or Satan's lies? Because that's all they are. Lies.

I can't do this on my own. I need Jesus. I need the Truth.

{I know this post could be considered a bit redundant, but it's something I needed to say, more for my sake than anyone else's. Thanks for reading! :) }


P. S. - check back tomorrow for our NaNoWriMo edition of Beautiful People! :D
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