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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Hello again...

Hi!!! Sorry I haven't blogged in a while…I had a friend over.
Oh my goodness!!! Thank you guys for so many comments!!!! You guys make me so happy!! Keep it up!
I have a funny story for you. You know how I have homegroup? Well, I have this friend named Hannah. Well, one day I wore this shirt that says “life rocks” on it. Then next homegroup I wore it again, cuz I didn't think she'd notice. Well…she did, and after that I wore it again and again every single homegroup because it annoyed her so bad. Well, one day I didn't wear it, because I was soooo sick of it. Turns out she wore an outfit she had already worn, just to annoy me. So, I got “the shirt” out and whenever she would start to annoy me, I would whip it out and threaten to put it on. I had spent the whole night trying to think up a harmless prank to get back at her, and I got my chance. She had worn a hat that she had everyone sign there names on. Right before she left I asked if I could sign it again. Guess what I signed?? I signed “Life Rocks” all over. I even signed it on the brim so that when she looked up she could see it. She didn't even realize that's what my shirt had said!! She said, “I didn't even realize that's what it said, I just was so mad that I didn't notice”. I laughed so hard. Then, I had everyone sign “the shirt” so I could remember all of my frieds. Actually, I'm wearing it right now.

Thanks again for all the comments! You made my day!!
I was going to say, “Bye-bye for now” but my friend says it should be TTFN – “Ta-Ta for now'', as Tigger might say:




on October 10th, 2006
I have updated you on my friends list. What a funny way to have fun with your friend! My daughter Eyebright (who has a blog, did you see?) has a long standing joke with her best friend. This friend has nearly every kind of goat there is but Nubians. We used to have Nubian goats. They would tease each other about what was the best kind of goat, with the friend always saying that Nubians could never be the best kind. One day my daughter made a t-shirt with a Nubian on the front and gave it to her friend as a birthday present. The friends mom loved the joke and made her daughter wear it.

Abiding in the Vine!


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