note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
sounds nice :) especially the chilling and watching tv part ;) just kidding... I love the spending time with a friend and guitar part! =) today, I... only got a teeny tiny bit of school done and ate gluten filled food :( ugh :/ but I just got done working out! trying to get back on the right road... :)
ReplyDeletethinking and praying for you soul sista!
♥Samarah
Haha. :) sounds lovely.
ReplyDeleteMe? Going to go find something to eat, and then work on my room.
xx,
Bleah