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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Have you ever been to Owl City?

I have.

Oh, not personally of course. Not physically, but deep inside my mind, I have.

It's a place called imagination.

I am floating away / lost in a silent ballet (On the Wing)

One time, I was babysitting a dear three-year-old whom my family has known since birth. She was wearing an owl shirt, and so I asked her,

"Have you ever been to Owl City?"

She said yes. She said it was the place where all the owls hang out. It was located in her room, and it was dark. Someplace magical.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere. (Vanilla Twilight)

I figured out that I could go there, too.

My friends and I have bonded over Owl City. My friend Pip pre-ordered me All Things Bright and Beautiful. I've shared with my blog friends his song that reminds me my hope is in Christ alone. My friend Bri and I are going to write a story about being in a strawberry avalanche (and going in a cold hot air balloon with Matthew Thiessen). Even Ashley and I have a book character based off of Adam Young. And this weekend, I had a conversation with two dear friends that consisted entirely of Owl City song titles. It made my night.

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep. (Fireflies)

Guys, meet Malkah @ Snow After Fire & Sweeet (aka Christina) @ Broken Love - two awesome people from the NarniaWeb forums whom I've had the privilege of getting to know (and you should definitely follow them). A simple conversation in which we plotted our group story turned into, well.. this. I hope you enjoy. (And by the way, an alias of mine is Mountie, short for MountainFireflower. :p)

Me: *lives in Owl City*
Sweeet: forgot. She really lives in Owl City.
malkah: is also a citizen of Owl City.
Me: I live in a hot air balloon in the alligator sky during vanilla twilight
Sweeet: Oh, I live down in the Saltwater Room.
Sweeet: On Umbrella Beach?
malkah: Well, I turned the corner one day, and Hello, there was Seattle. So I'm living here for awhile.
Me: XD LOL! I see fireflies on a daily basis
Sweeet: Sounds great, Mal. I'll have to visit you sometimes soon.
malkah: May I visit you both? XD
Sweeet: Sometimes all the lights look like the galaxies...
Me: Of course, Mal.
Sweeet: They make me feel like a Deer in the Headlights.
Sweeet: You may, of course!
Sweeet: You can come to my graduation party!
Me: Have you girls ever seen a meteor shower? XD
Me: *wishes she could actually come to Sweeet's graduation party*
Sweeet: Sometimes I think that Adam Young made these song names so we could be all witty like them.
malkah: I've never been to a graduation party in a saltwater room!  *will be there*
Sweeet Why yes, I have! I had to look all the way up To the Sky.
Sweeet: Perfect, Mal!
malkah: I haven't, Mountie, but there was a Strawberry Avalanche awhile back, so we've been rather buried.
Sweeet: Well, Mountie, Dreams Don't Turn to Dust, so your dream of visiting'll stay alive...
Me: Ouch, Mal, that must've been painful!
Sweeet: Oh, heavens!
Me: Yes, I don't need a telescope to see that there's hope, and that makes me feel brave XD
Sweeet: Like when you have Dental Care?
Me: Mal, at least you didn't get caught in a Tidal Wave like I did.
malkah: Youch, Mountie. That sounds even worse than being stuck in a Cave In.
Sweeet: And the tidal wave is only the Tip of the Iceberg.
Sweeet: And the Cave In is too.
malkah: XDD
Sweeet: If My Heart Was a House, you'd already have visited me.
Me: Hehe!
malkah: (This is an epic conversation.  )
Me: XD
Sweeet: This is so awesome.
Me: (I know. Almost blog-worthy. XD)
Me: I'm going to go On The Wing and say that you're Adam Young fans as much as I am
Sweeet: Nah, we're just part of The Real World.
malkah: But thankfully, no Owl City fan ever has to sing a Lonely Lullaby.
Sweeet: Yes, because we've got Angels like Adam Young to sing to us.
Me: About All Things Bright and Beautiful
Sweeet: Yes, well, this conversation is in all of those Rainbow Veins.
Sweeet: is cheating and looking up names.
malkah: is too.
Sweeet: This Is The Future: Mountie and I going to Owatonna. Care to come, Mal? There isn't much Air Traffic.
malkah: I'd love to come!  When are you leaving? In the Vanilla Twilight or do I need to be an Early Birdie?
Sweeet: Well, you could be The Bird and we'll be the Worm.
Me: (NO fair, I was gonna do that, Sweeet! XD)
Sweeet: Hahahaha!
malkah: Lol! XDDDD
Sweeet: (Sorry, Mountie!)
Sweeet: I have to go to bed and leave this awesomeness.
Sweeet: Rather, Awesomeness.
malkah: That could work, Sweeet. I'll Meet You There.
Sweeet: So, goodnight!
Me: Aw. Will we see you again, in Peppermint Winter? XD
Sweeet: Perfect, Mal! Perhaps we'll meet again on January 28, 2986.
Sweeet: 1986*
Sweeet: Fail.
Me: Hahaha!
Sweeet: If we could do something Kamikaze like that.
malkah: Aww, g'night Sweeet! Sleep well, and may your dreams be Enchanted!
Me: And dream Of June!
Sweeet: And I'll leave it at that.
(20:45:14) sweeetlilgurlie: I love you guys.
(20:45:19) sweeetlilgurlie: Have sweet dreams!
(20:45:31) sweeetlilgurlie sparkles out.

So after Sweeet left, this is what happened...

Me: Aw, what a great West Coast Friendship.
malkah: I know. We fit like The Honey and the Bee.
Me: It makes me feel like a Panda Bear xD
malkah: Or like I'm Swimming in Miami.
malkah: (We're running out of titles. XD )
Me: (LOL! Yes. )
Me: It's like The Technicolor Phase!
malkah: And just as much fun as being a Sky Diver!
Me: Or running down The Airway!
malkah: Or having a Super Honeymoon!
Me: On a Designer Skyline!
malkah: In Dear Vienna!
MountainFireflower: Beneath Fuzzy Blue Lights!

That's about it, but the conversation just kept going, and going, until we ran out of Owl City song titles. It was amazing.

Sweeet and I have a plan of going to Owatonna someday and buying choco tacos to share with Adam Young. Just fyi. We'll have to blog about it when we get there. ;) Because we will, I'm sure of it. Dreams don't turn to dust. :P

Where was I, when the rockets came to life, and carried you away, into the alligator sky? (Alligator Sky)

Speaking of Owl City, I am a fan of his new music video.

And I really think he should sell those spacesuits in his online store. (So does Georgie. It was her idea. Adam Young, are you reading this?)

Also, Owl City fans, click here. And even if you aren't, do it. Because it's shocking and cool all at the same time.

Thank you for putting up with this fangurlie-ish post. Regular posting shall resume soonish.


  1. haha, this post made me smile. ;)
    Adam Young is an AMAZING song writer......oh yeah, and his voice is pretty sweet too. *chuckles*

    Your conversation made me laugh sooo hard. 'Tis good to have friends that will have conversations about song lyrics, eh?

    love ya always,

  2. LOL, Lily! I'm glad you liked it! :D Yes. Adam Young is ah-maz-ing. Enough said.

    Haha. It made me laugh too. XD I love friends that will talk about song lyrics with me. They're amazing. :D

  3. HAHAH! This made me smile! I'm kind of new to your blog but I've been reading every Owl City related post, b/c I absolutely adore Adam Young & his music (yes, even the random screamo band of his I found on youtube). :DD This conversation is hilarious! I just finished a story based on the lyrics of his songs. :)

    Can't wait to read more about your Owl City obsession. Did you know the Alligator Sky music video connects to the Deer in the Headlights music video? (what am I saying, of course you probably do...)


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