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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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Update on *Muffin* :)

Thanks for all of your prayers! This time I have some good news....

As you know, *Muffin* was admitted to the hospital last night, and my mom & I went to go see her. It was really intense when we got there, because she was getting checked by a pediatrician, and was really upset. When babies have croupe, they have this unnerving barky sound to their cough.... No offense, but they sound kind of like a seal! It was really rather scary for me, because I had not expected that. Right when we got there, *Muffin* reached out to Mom, which really tugged at our heartstrings. Even though she was struggling, she was still our *Muffin*!

Mom held her the whole time we were there. That freed up her mom to go home and get the things they needed to spend the night at the hospital. It was also *Muffin*'s dad's birthday, but he didn't mind. It was rather neat to see.

While we were there it seemed she improved. She got more peaceful while Mom was holding her, and when we left she was sleeping on her Momma. :)

As of today, we found out that she is going to be released from the hospital this morning. That is a great relief to hear, because at least she is stable and doing better. If you would like to pray still, just pray for *Muffin* to get better, as well as her mom, dad, and grandma to have peace.

BTW, *Muffin* is not her real name. :o)

Thanks for praying everyone! I really appreciate it!

In His Love,
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