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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

The Three Hamsketeers

As of last Wednesday, counting our animals, we are now a family of ten.

For a long while, we have been planning to get a hamster. So, when our friends decided to breed theirs quite a while ago, it was only natural that we actually took action. After much deliberation, we decided to add our name to the list of hopeful hamster-owners.

Our friend tried to breed twice, but it turned out negatively—the babies died both times, and the mama barely survived. This was a pretty hard time for my 14-year-old friend, the hamster breeder, because she felt so bad that her “clients” weren’t able to get the hamsters she had hoped to give them.

Well, the week before last week, we got a call from our friends saying that they had bought a hamster from a pet store along with her six babies, four girls and 2 boys. It was totally a God thing because it was a package deal and they basically got 2 hamsters free. So last Wednesday, we went to our friends’ house, along with our OTHER friends, who have a 7-year-old daughter, to pick out our hamsters. We had talked about it the night before and spontaneously decided to get 2 boys. We already had 2 names picked out: Reepicheep, after the talking mouse in ‘Prince Caspian’, and Puff Jr., after my mom’s hamster when she was young.

When we got there, the 7-year-old girl immediately fell in love with one of the boys, which was tan and white. I was a little disappointed, because that one looked like a Puff Jr. But then *I* fell in love with the other boy, who was tan with black ears and looked EXACTLY like a Reepicheep!

So then we were wondering what to do… because we still wanted 2 hamsters. The only solution was to get a girl, and put them in 2 different cages. My sister *Tink* decided it for us. She was smitten with the smallest of them all.

I don’t know how this got brought up, but one of our friends (I’m sure you’re so confused now it doesn’t matter anyway) mentioned us getting three. Mom was at first repelled about the idea, because she did not want three cages. But she realized that we could put two girls together, and consented to the idea. So my brother *TQ* promptly picked out his.

Now we are the owners of three hamsters!

My hamster is named Sir Reepicheep Puff Jr., but I just call him “Reepi” or “Reepicheep”. He is the biggest of the three, and is quite a furball. TQ and I keep quoting a line from Manny in the movie ‘Ice Age’ ~ “I’m not fat; I’m just… poofy.” :o)

The hamster that Tink chose is the smallest of the bunch. She’s dark gray, and quite adorable. As we were riding home with our “treasures”, we discussed what TQ and Tink would call their hamsters. Mom asked Tink what she would call hers, and she promptly said, “Rosie… or Molly… but I think Rosie.” We didn’t protest, even though Rosie does not LOOK like a Rosie, and she’s been Rosie ever since.

TQ picked out a black and white one, whom I think is a longhaired because she is nowhere near as puffy as her siblings. At first we began calling her Puff, but it just didn’t stick! So, TQ decided to name her Oreo Cookie instead. And, my hamster now bears his long name. :o)

I hope to be posting some pictures soon! =)


  1. Hi Kylie!

    I was just stopping by to see if you wanted to trade blog ads. I noticed yours on Miss Jocelyn's site when I was submitting my own. If you'd like to trade, just let me know.

    Also, I'm finally adding you to my blog list! It takes me a little while do that stuff..:)

    Have a good day!



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