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on the power of showing up

note: I wrote this post in April of 2019 (pre-COVID). It's been sitting in my drafts for quite a while, but I think it's time for it to see the light of day. It's been helpful for me to reread over the past few months, especially as I continue to try to make an effort to write, and I hope it can be helpful to you, too. i got an invite to a writers' group a few months ago, and i had never felt like more of a fraud in my life. it had been months, if not years, since i'd felt like a writer. the proverbial well of words in my heart had dried up, it seemed, and i wasn't sure if it was ever coming back. i agreed to go out of a sense of helplessness—i'd identified as a writer ever since i could remember. if i'm not a writer, who am i?  i told myself that it was important to show up and act like a writer even when i didn't feel like one, because even though i hadn't been writing, i reassured myself, i still was a writer. but sometimes the words f

God is on the move

A cry rises from the ground
As all the earth begins to shake
Can you feel the spirit move you?
Calling all hearts to wake

Life is rising from these graves
A voice breaks the silence
And warms the dying heart
Oh, this is just the start

'Cause we will open heavens
And well start the flame now
All the earth will shake now
As we scream Your name

Arise, heaven open wide
Passion filling every place
And now's the time
So let it move you
Cause something is about to break

We are falling on our face
Searching for movement
Give us fire in these days
Oh Spirit, lead the way

Singing Hallelujah
Well cry out from our hearts now

(Open Heavens, Barlow Girl)


I had this song in my head the whole time we were praying as a family about the new year. I'm not sure why, but this song really stirs something in me. I guess it's because I really desire to be moved by the Spirit in ways I can't understand. As we were praying, I heard many things from God, but one of them was that Hallelujah should be our battle cry. To me, this means that we must be worshipful warriors (term borrowed from my pastor). I pray that I will be able to defend myself from the forces of evil, but that I will also be strong enough to kneel in worship to my King.

These are a few scattered thoughts about the new year, and really, I'm just typing what comes to mind next, so I don't expect anything to make sense. But the one conscious thought I can use to sum up this post is that God is on the move.


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