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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

On Self-Love (And Getting my Nose Pierced)

It's no secret that we struggle to love our bodies. We see every imperfection. Every flaw. There are parts of ourselves we just don't like.

For me, that part of my body is my nose.

I have a different nose than anyone in my immediate family. It's kind of weird. Rounded. It looks different from all angles. It's just... got a weird shape. This is a family nose that's been passed down through my mom's side, which is actually kind of sweet. But to me, my nose has always been one of my least favorite parts of me. Because of this, I always said I wouldn't pierce my nose. I thought it wouldn't look good on me. Why draw attention to a part of your body if you don't like it?

Or so I told myself.

My desire for a nose piercing got stronger over the years, even though I had said I'd never get one. I loved how pretty they looked on other people. So why not on me?

Because... I didn't like my nose?

Suddenly that wasn't a good enough reason.

If I wanted to get a nose piercing, why shouldn't I get a nose piercing? I decided that maybe I'd get a nose piercing. Someday.

So I bought a fake nose hoop on Etsy, and I kept thinking about it. I kept telling myself, "This month we can do it." But I never did. I kept coming up with excuses. Most of them had to do with what people would think of me.

Then, with the beginning of 2016, I decided I needed to be brave. I needed to just do it. I had waited long enough. It wasn't a snap decision. This was what I really wanted.

So, this past Sunday, my friend Charity and I went down to a piercing studio, and I got my nose pierced, I still can't believe I actually went through with it.

(Because I know you all desperately wanted to see...)

Here's the thing: I denied myself something I really wanted for years because I was afraid I wouldn't like it. Afraid others wouldn't like it. Afraid it would highlight my nose.

But you know what?

I'm choosing to not care what people think. (It's still hard, I know.)

I'm choosing to love my nose.

My nose has been passed down through my mom's side of the family. It's tied to my mom and my grandma, two of the best women I've ever known.

My nose is what makes me me. Without it, I honestly wouldn't be the same.

So that's why I had to laugh when the piercer said my nose had a "unique architecture." That's why I'm committed to loving every part of me. Every part. It's not easy, and it's an ongoing journey. But life is too short to hate yourself. Embrace who you are. You might end up with a new piercing in the process. (Just kidding.)

I love you guys. Love yourselves too. You owe it to you.


  1. Oh this post is so beautiful. I LOVE THIS, SKY. And I is too short to hate yourself. I'm...I'm still learning. XD I never like how I look in pictures (which is a big reason I hide behind the camera) and I've got a loooong way to go. My smile is what I'm unhappy with. I had very crooked teeth as a kid so I kind of learnt not to smile? If that makes sense? and even though I got my teeth straightened it kind of stuck being VERY self-conscious about my smile. So yeah. *nods* I totally know the feel, but I admire you a zillion percent for choosing to love your nose. :')

    1. *whispers* Everyone looks beautiful when they smile because happiness is such a beautiful quality . . .

    2. Thank you so much, Cait! I know exactly what you mean. It's so hard. I honestly still struggle with it--there are so many days I don't like what I see in the mirror. So it's not something that I've learned yet at all. It's a daily process, and I don't know if we'll ever get to the point where we love ourselves completely, but at least we're trying. ♥ Thank you for reading!! Sending you so much love. ♥

      And I totally agree with The Magic Violinist. Smiles are beautiful. Happiness is beautiful. Rock that smile. ♥ :)

  2. You look so cute! Thanks for sharing this story with us. :) I've found that even the most confident-seeming people have something about themselves (physical appearance or otherwise) that they're not happy with. I think it's great when we can read stories about someone who's embraced every part of them and use it as motivation to do the same. Love the piercing. <3

    1. Thank you so much! I totally agree. It's encouraging for me when I read blog posts like this, and the internet is actually what started the concept of self-love and self-care for me. So I'm super glad that I can provide my voice to the discussion, even though it's still a learning process for me. Loving ourselves is so, so important. Thank you so much for the compliment and for stopping by!

  3. AHHHHH YOU LOOK SO CUTE! I love your piercing :)

    - Ellie

  4. It looks great! Thanks for writing this.
    I'm thinking about getting a nose piercing, did it hurt very much?

    1. No problem! Thanks for stopping by.

      Yes, it does hurt pretty badly, but it's very quick. It depends on the person, as well as who pierces it--some people I know have had really painful experiences while some people I know barely felt it. Though it did hurt, it's been worth it for me.

      Finding a good piercer that you can get along with is a huge thing, too. Mine made me super comfortable and answered all my questions.

      I will say this--while the pain during the piercing is more intense, I've had a dull ache in my nose for the first few days after it. It's hard to get used to, and I keep bumping it on things (which hurts a lot).

      I definitely would recommend it, though. Please feel free to let me know in the future if you have any more questions!

  5. I hate my nose too! From the front, it's okay, but not in profile. *shudders* But your nose is so cute! (If you don't mind my saying so.) And it looks really good with the nose piercing. I'm so happy for you, because I know what it's like to deny yourself something because you think it would make you look bad, and you're right, it's important to look past that and live life and not limit ourselves because we don't think we deserve or should have what we want most. And honestly, confidence and self assurance could make anyone beautiful. :)

    1. I feel you so much! Thank you so much for the compliment--I don't mind at all. :) I agree: confidence and self-assurance is the MOST important thing. It's something that's so hard to attain, but it's definitely worth it. Thank you so, so much for the compliment, Liz! I loved hearing your thoughts.

  6. Sky, this was so sweet! Goodness knows I have a multitude of physical insecurities. My smile is one of them. I never had braces (yet) and while my teeth aren't terrible they're not that great either. You know what's funny though? My coworkers, friends, and random people on the street are always remarking on and complimenting my smile. At first I thought, "maybe they're just trying to be nice because they feel bad for me." But then I realized that they weren't complimenting my teeth, they were complimenting my *smile*. They were praising the fact that I chose to smile, chose to be happy and cheerful and chose to spread that wherever I possibly can, even if I am insecure about my teeth!
    I certainly was not blessed with an overabundance of good looks and beauty, but that does not mean I have nothing to give, that I can’t choose to be happy, and that I can’t love myself and be kind to myself.

    Oh, and I also don’t like my nose. It’s asymmetrical from the front. From the side it’s too big and pointy while simultaneously strangely shapeless.

    Hmm...maybe we need to start a, “I don’t like my nose” support group or something. ;)

    Dani xoxo
    a vapor in the wind

    P.S. I'm sorry if this comment posted twice...for some reason I couldn't tell if my first attempted posted or not, so feel free to delete this one if need be. :P

    1. I know what you mean! I totally love how you realized that smiling and being happy is the most important thing because it absolutely is! Being kind to yourself, being happy, and feeling free are so, so important!

      Ha! Yes. Let's definitely start that support group. ;)

      And no worries! The comment went through perfectly with no duplicates. :D I really appreciate you stopping by and leaving your thoughts! ♥

  7. the beginning of last year was a really hard time for loving myself, but I remember when I started to embrace who I was and how I looked persay. after dying my hair purple, I felt beautiful and happy and confident. and hey--no matter what the haters said, those things were more important to me...which gave me the right attitude to realize my self-loathing was wrong wrong wrong. it's still tough, but I am doing so much better at loving myself than I ever was before...even without purple confidence. :)

    you are so adorable!! I have always thought nose piercings are the cutest. ^.^ my plan is to get a helix piercing this summer, once I dig up some money. *laughs at thirteen year old me who hated piercings because I now love them and think they're the bomb diggity*

    love love love this post, Sky!!!

    1. I'm so glad you've had a similar moment of realization for loving yourself! It's so important. And kudos for dying your hair purple! That's so, so awesome. I'd love to try that sometime, too.

      Thank you so much! I love piercings now too! I used to hate them, but now I'm a huge fan. Getting a helix piercing sometime is also on my list--but money is a huge factor for me as well. Good luck with your helix piercing, and keep me posted on how it goes! Thank you tons for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. I really enjoyed reading them. :)


  8. Your nose stud looks soO good on you! You actually have the perfect nose for piercing and the little ose stud compliments your pretty face. The only thing that would look cuter is a think little silver nose ring!

    1. Aw, thanks so much, Amy! I really appreciate the compliment. I love your idea, and I agree! I plan to hopefully switch to a silver nose ring after my piercing has healed.

      Thanks so much for stopping by! ♥

  9. You go girl! It looks fantastic, and I think your nose is cute!

  10. Oh my god, Sky, I love this post and your peircing so much! I really struggle with the whole "love your yourself and every part of yourself" thing. Actually, one thing I struggle with is my nose...let's just say it's kind of big. I've always been super selfconsious of it but over the last six months I've actually been serisouly considering pericing it. The main thing holding me back is actually (really stupid) and it's my family's reactions to it. While my mom was totally okay with me getting my first tattoo at 17, both her and my brothers don't get why I'd want my nose periced and think it's kind of stupid. I mean, I don't have a reason why, I kind of just want to do it because. Because I think it fits who I am and it's just an awesome thing I want to do.

    Anyway, sorry for rambling about me, I think it's so very awesome that you didn't let anything stop you from peircing your nose and it looks awesome. Thanks for the inspiring post, Sky! =)

    Question, I've read nose peircings take a long time to heal? Is it a pain to take care of? Like, I have three tattoos so I'm not worried about pain but it drives me nuts having to take care of them for two weeks while they heal.

    1. Hey Shay! Thank you so much! Oh my gosh, I totally know what you mean. I was worried about what people would think too. The reason I did it was because I thought it would be an awesome thing to do, and I think that's a good enough reason. I think you should go for it!

      It really depends on the person and the piercing. So far, I got mine pierced exactly two weeks ago. For the first few days it was super sore, but after about a week, it felt much better. At this point, I forget it's even there. It's kind of hard to get used to at first, and you do have to keep up some aftercare--I just use a saline spray from the drugstore, though, which is fairly low-maintenance. Like I said, it really depends. While mine seems to be healing pretty well, I've heard of others who have had issues. Whatever happens, I just recommend you find a good piercer you're comfortable with, who will answer all your questions and will do the job right. Making sure it's done right will help the healing process, I would think. (And as far as getting it done right, that basically means finding someone who's qualified and who makes sure everything is sterile.) While it does take a few days to get used to, it didn't take very long for me at all, and the aftercare has been surprisingly easy.

      By all means, I'm not an expert, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt. Also, I'm not sure if I answered your question, so let me know if you have any further questions! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

    2. Thanks for answering my questions, Sky! And don't worry, I think you did a pretty good job. =) I *think* I might get my nose pierced for my birthday in April, you're right, just wanting it is a good enough reason to get one! Luckily I've gotten tattoos so I get the whole healing thing being different for everyone (my brothers tattoos heal a lot faster than mine). I'll definitely do some research and talk to the piercer that works at the tattoo shop I go to before committing. I'm a little hesitant to pierce anything because I had a bad experience with my ears when I was little but I really want to do my nose! Anyway, thanks for taking the time to explain your experience! =)

  11. Awwwwww. Some people struggle with pride, but I know loving myself is a really tough thing. I'm glad you've mad this breakthrough and your piercing looks really cute. ^ ^

    1. Thanks so much, Tori! I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment!

  12. Cute nose piercing it really suits u im thinking of gettin 2 done bt not sure


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