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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

In a Nutshell: January 2016

Last year, I started doing monthly recaps. After a while, they got to be too much to keep up with, but I've always wanted to go back to them. Thus, I present a new bloggity feature thing: In a Nutshell. It'll be more condensed than my previous monthly recaps. I intend to use this as a way to let you know what I've been up to, as well as to keep as a record of what I've been doing in my life (since I am a very forgetful person). What was I saying? Oh. Well, let's get to it. Here's January 2016 in a nutshell.
  • I got my nose pierced. That was a huge thing. In order to start off 2016 right, I felt compelled to be brave and just DO THE THING. I haven't regretted it in the slightest. (Though the aftercare took some practice.)
  • There was a lot of taking-care-of-tiny-children. Our conversations include Hulk Smash and swimming pools full of chocolate milk.

  • My iPod completely broke out of the blue. Much of my time was spent agonizing over the sheer awfulness of using an iPod 2 as a backup, and then happily remembering the passcode to my old iPod 4.
  • I got back into crocheting for some random reason, and I completed an infinity scarf from last year and also made my very first HAT. (I've been crocheting since I was nine or so, and I have never made a HAT!!)
  • I watched a ton of Jacksepticeye videos. Possibly too many.
  • I. Fell. In. Love. With. Hamilton. I can't even speak coherently about this. I am not throwing away my shot.
In the Blogosphere

To kick off the year, I decided to take on the challenge of making myself an accordion menu. What resulted was a new novels page.

This was a busy month for me as far as writing blog posts goes. I posted here on Wednesdays and on The Fangirl Initiative on Thursdays. One of the biggest things was the accidental creation of Young and Sick, where I now post on Fridays. Integrating the word spoonie into my online identity was another huge thing, as was self love. Overall, I became bolder. I wrote some blog posts that terrified me, but I took steps towards becoming the writer I want to be.

It's been an amazing start to the year. If you want to see everything I wrote in January, click here. (I had to make this page for all of my blog posts because in two years, I will probably remember nothing.)

Here's What You Liked...

Some of you came to this blog via these search results...
  • "stink at bowling" gutter
  • bilbo writing
  • nose piercing 2016
  • sebastian stan grandparents

Here's What I Liked...


While quite a bit of this month was dedicated to nonfiction blog posts, I still found time to occasionally work on Spaceboy. All of it has been written in January, as far as I know, so my writing came to a total of about 8k (ish).


Eyes Shut - Years and Years
Luxury - Jon Bellion
Lay It All on Me - Rudimental and Ed Sheeran
Polaroid - Imagine Dragons
Rumble - Brooke Waggoner
400 Lux - Lorde
Good to Be Alive (Hallelujah) - Andy Grammer
Love Yourself - Justin Bieber
Who Do You Love - Marianas Trench
Ooh - Jon Bellion
Downtown - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
House of Gold - Twenty One Pilots
Waiting for Love - Avicii
Trouble - Avicii

(There was also Hamilton. So much Hamilton. I'm in love with Hamilton.)

Tune in next time to see...

  • Me fumbling through the second month of the year
  • Me crying, wondering how the heck you write a book about space
  • My attempts to make it through the day by rewarding myself with copious amounts of coffee (with dubious results)
  • My loud, almost-constant performance of Hamilton as a one-woman show (includes bad rapping)
  • Me trying to become an adult with my life together (just kidding, this will not happen)

What about you? What was your January 2016 like?

P.S. - As some of you may have seen on Twitter, I'm contemplating starting a story and posting installments of it on Wattpad. Should I do this? Pros? Cons? Let me know!


  1. *SHRIEKS* LORDE YESSS. My favorite song of hers is Glory and Gore.
    Your Twitter username is the best.
    I've been working a lot on my novel too, I want to say I'm somewhere around 13k but I don't know for sure xD

    - Ellie

    1. I LOVE Glory and Gore. Thank you for reminding me about that one. I may just put it on February's playlist! ;)

      Thank you so much! I'm fond of it. XD

      That's awesome! I'm so glad you've been working on it and would love to hear what it's about. :D

      Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment! ♥

  2. Sounds like an eventful month, I would like to get bolder, I'm always hesitant to put myself out there. I'm trying to be an adult too, mostly I just fake it :)

    1. I feel you. I've become very good at faking my adultness. ;) I'm learning that becoming bolder just takes time, so it's not an immediate thing. I'm still learning how. Sending you lots of love as you go through that journey!

  3. I love your Twitter handle name! I've heard much of Hamilton and my bestie showed me some of the songs. I haven't caught on with the craze, but I at least now know what it is. XD Yay for progress in your book! You can do it! My January felt like it was two months long. I had my best friend over for a week and skiing and editing and catching up on stuff I procrastinated over the holidays. XD

    1. Thanks so much, Victoria! Hey, at least you do know what Hamilton is! XD

      And yes, January felt so long for me too. Sounds like you've had a good month (at least I hope so)!

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! ♥

  4. In a Nutshell! I just love that. You come up with the best titles!

    Just the other day someone suggesting Hamilton to my friend and me. I guess I need to check out this thing!

    As far as putting your story on Wattpad. YES. DO IIITTTT!!!! Okay, I've never actually used Wattpad myself except to read a couple of things, BUT I WANT TO READ YOUR THINGS. I've wanted to read your beautimous stories for the longest. So that would be amazing!

    Hope your February is fabulous! <3

    1. Thanks so much, Christine! Honestly, they just randomly come to me.

      Definitely! It's one of my favorite things EVER. It isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I personally loved it. Let me know what you think if you give it a listen!

      Ahhh, thank you so much! I'm hoping to do that in the future for sure! Just gotta figure out what to post.

      Thank you! I hope your February is absolutely wonderful. ♥ And thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

  5. I second Victoria on loving your Twitter handle. :P And I think this is a brilliant idea for a monthly recap. *happy dance*

    1. Thanks so much, Liz. XD I'm fond of it too. And thanks so much for the compliment and the comment! I really appreciate it. ♥ *joins you in the happy dancing*

  6. Okay, is Hamilton something I need to get into? Cause like, everyone is exploding about it and I feel like I need to know what this is all about? Also, AH! You have my current favorite Marianas Trench song on your list!

    I love your stay tune in for list, it sounds a lot like my February is going to be with just a few tweaks. As for the Wattpad, I've never really used it nor do I know a ton about it so I don't have any helpful advice, but I would read anything you put up there!

    Hope you have an epic February, Sky! And figure out how to write a book about space. =)

    1. YESSS. Hamilton is awesome. I don't know if it's what you're usually into, but it's basically a Broadway musical with rap and hip-hop elements. It's very cool. XD Oh really?! I LOVE WHO DO YOU LOVE. Their whole Astoria album is INCREDIBLE. And I'm so excited to meet a fellow Marianas Trench fan!

      I'm glad we're both experiencing the same type of February. XD And thank you for offering to read my Wattpad! It's something I'm hoping to do eveeeentually. I'll update on the blog if it ever happens! (Currently, all the things I'm writing are ones I want to keep to myself as I write the first draft, so it's just a matter of finding a story TO post on Wattpad.)

      Thank you so much for the comment and the well-wishes! I definitely need the luck with writing about space. XD I hope your February is epically wonderful too! ♥


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