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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
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Introducing Young and Sick

Something super random happened this week. I got an email from Google Domains that said they were having a sale. This resulted in me being able to get a domain for free.

A long time ago, I had a blog called Spill the Beans. It was a blog for teens and young people with chronic illness. I've been thinking of redoing it, so I searched for a domain for Spill the Beans. There wasn't one, so I started thinking about renaming it. On a whim (and due to the suggestion of my dad), I chose the name Young and Sick.

At first I wasn't sure what to do with it, but I've decided to just go with it. Last night, I got a burst of inspiration for my first two posts. And so... I'm gonna do this thing.

I'll be writing about fibromyalgia and PCOS, the two conditions I deal with, but I'm also welcoming guest posters so that I can get a multitude of perspectives. I just want this to be a community for people with chronic illness. I want people who are young and sick to not feel alone.

I'll be posting here at Further Up and Further In on Wednesdays, at The Fangirl Initiative on Thursdays, and at Young and Sick on Fridays.

Here we go.


In Which I Am a Person
(Originally posted @ Young and Sick)

For a long time, my identity online has not included the fact that I'm a spoonie. (As a very-related side note, please read the spoon theory. It may change your life. Thanks to the spoon theory, we chronically ill people fondly refer to ourselves as "spoonies.") Online, I will occasionally mention that I have fibromyalgia and PCOS, and it's not a secret, per se. But I haven't talked a lot about it.

 The reason for this is that, honestly, the online world is my escape. Ever since I can remember, whenever I'd feel sick or lonely or crappy in any way, I would turn to the internet. There, I didn't have a faulty human body to hold me back. There, I felt free. (This is also probably why I'm a writer and why I loved to read as a kid.)

 So, whenever I've tried to write about chronic illness, it's been hard. It feels like my personal space is invaded by the crappy feelings of fibromyalgia, or a headache, or whatever I'm facing that day. It's not always like that--some days, I do want to proudly claim the badge of "spoonie." But some days I want to forget I'm sick at all.


Do you know anyone in your life with chronic illness or chronic pain?
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Comments

  1. UnknownJanuary 15, 2016 at 8:11 PM

    I think the blog is a great idea! Looking forward to the posts :)

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  2. elizabethJanuary 16, 2016 at 10:00 AM

    OH MY GOSH. I totally forgot you were the blogger on Spill the Beans, which I followed before I got sick and became a spoonie. WOW.

    I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do with this blog! the world needs more spoonie bloggers. :)

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    1. Sky DestrianJanuary 24, 2016 at 5:51 PM

      Holy cow! Yes. That's so amazing. Spill the Beans fizzled out, sadly, but it's amazing to me that people still remember it.

      Thanks so much! I totally agree. Spoonie bloggers unite!

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  3. Skye HoffertJanuary 16, 2016 at 10:12 AM

    I read the spoon story, it's a powerful story. I'm like the clueless friend who didn't quite understand. It amazes me the strength you must have to deal with things like that on a daily basis.

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    1. Sky DestrianJanuary 24, 2016 at 5:54 PM

      That's totally okay, Skye. It's really hard to understand when you haven't ever experienced it. The important thing is that you read the spoon story and you're trying to understand, which is awesome and great! I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to read it.

      Thank you. Honestly, I think everyone has their own battles and their own strengths. One thing I've realized is that everyone's life is hard; it just varies on what exactly they have to face.

      Thank you so much for stopping by and reading, as well as leaving a comment! I really appreciate it.

      Delete
  4. Liz BrooksJanuary 17, 2016 at 4:02 PM

    Ooh, I'm very excited for this! And I'm so sorry you have to live with chronic illness because that is no fun. I have nerve and spinal damage that gives me semi-chronic pain, but I'm fairly certain I can't come close to understanding what it's like to deal with the stuff you have to live with. So I am very interested to read your thoughts. :)

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    1. Sky DestrianJanuary 24, 2016 at 5:59 PM

      Thanks, Liz! Honestly, nerve and spinal damage definitely sounds tough, so I'm sorry you have to deal with that as well! If you'd ever like to write about it for Young and Sick, feel free to email me! I'm glad you're excited--I am too! Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. ♥

      Delete
    2. Liz BrooksJanuary 30, 2016 at 5:00 PM

      You're welcome, and thank you! I will definitely keep that mind, although it may be a while before I take on writing a post like that. Thank you for the opportunity! :D

      Delete
  5. Alyssa HollingsworthJanuary 18, 2016 at 10:31 AM

    I love this! Spoon theory is the best thing to ever hit the internet. I have Rheum Arthritis, plus a myriad of other autoimmune problems, and have had them since I was 17. I'd love to do a guest post if you ever need one!

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    1. Sky DestrianJanuary 24, 2016 at 6:00 PM

      Yesss. I adore the spoon theory. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment!

      Delete
  6. Victoria Grace HowellJanuary 22, 2016 at 10:13 AM

    Great blog idea. I don't deal with chronic pain myself, but I hope your new blog touches many hearts. :)

    storitorigrace.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Sky DestrianJanuary 24, 2016 at 6:01 PM

      Thanks so much, Victoria! ♥ I really appreciate that.

      Delete

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