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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

September 2014: Recap


I could hardly wait to do this recap all month, and now that it's actually here, I hardly know what to say.

September was honestly rather a blur. It's my favorite month, so I do wish I had enjoyed it more, but grief can put things in a bit of a fog. Nevertheless, it was a good month. We went swimming, watched the finale of America's Got Talent, and I did lots of writing, while coming up with developments and new ideas for new novels and old alike. One of the highlights was finally experiencing a bit of summer by going swimming in my cousin's saltwater pool. I also got a clip-on nose ring, and wore the color red on my lips for the very first time (with a leather jacket no less!). ;) I also finally, finally taped all the mementos I've collected into my journal after about a year, and put new pictures on my wall (which included making my own little corner of Narnia). It's been an okay month, actually. Not fabulous, but not terrible, and I am oddly thankful for my experiences this September.


on the blog

I didn't quite get as many posts up as I wanted to this month. I did write them, but they're sitting in drafts. Nevertheless, my blog was filled with posts about writing this month, thanks in part to Beautiful People and A Novel Idea which keep me posting regularly. I posted a total of seven times. I started off the month with 5 Things the Breaking Bad Writers Did Right, which is one of my favorite posts I've done to date. For Beautiful People, we asked questions about your villains. I debuted my character Luna for A Novel Idea, then also talked about Cobie, Astrid, Fiona, and Damian (another favorite of mine). On the non-writing side, I wrote about being good to yourself. Additionally, we talked more about writing goals, dreams, and habits in All About the Writing Process #2. And finally, I introduced you to my very evil villain, Asher (or something).

In other places, I wrote Blessed Are the Cracked at Grafted Magazine. And although I didn't write for the magazine this time, I helped put together submissions for the third issue of Grafted Magazine--you can view that here.

writing

I continued Petrichor as usual, except this time I joined the 100 for 100 challenge at Go Teen Writers, where you write 100 words on your work in progress every day for 100 days. I also recruited my eleven-year-old sister to join me, and I'm so proud of her. She's written more than she ever has on one project, and now has 2,000 words. Seriously, my big sister heart is bursting.

As for Petrichor, things have slowed down a little bit, but for the first half of the month I did my best to write 750 words everyday. I forgot to write one of those days, though, which broke my streak on 750words.com. Since breaking it, I've been taking things a little easier and I plan to start back up again with 750words in mid-to-late-October. It just makes sense with my upcoming wisdom teeth surgery, which would've broken my streak anyway, and also, it's a good idea so that I can try to recharge as much as I can. Things are a little bit harder with regards to writing, mostly because it's getting closer to the end and yet not close enough. My characters are now fighting a war that's much bigger than all of them, which is both exciting and scary. My mostly-main-character Cobie is slowly getting to her fall-apart point, which I'm both excited and conflicted about. I feel so bad for her, but I also know this is necessary. (I've turned into a bit of a sadistic writer. It's so sad.)

For the month of September, I wrote a total of 21,782 words on Petrichor. I also am not sure if this will remain at 100k when it's finished or go over. There's so much to wrap up still! And for the 100 for 100 challenge, I'm at a total of 12,542 so far.

On the 28th I had a really crazy dream that I decided to combine with another crazy dream. So, on the 29th I revamped my idea that originally had Luna in it, and have turned it into a dystopic novel about a family of girls who fight against a corrupt system. I'm seriously excited, and it may turn into my NaNo novel yet. Stay tuned for updates.

I also had major breakthroughs with Fiona and Damian in Because I'm Irish, and wrote one scene where Fiona completely let down her walls around him. It's a huge development, something that words can't even express. When I finished the scene, I burst out crying because I was so happy for her. It was incredible. It's something I won't forget for a long time.

music

My official playlist for this month was rather sparse, but here it is.

amnesia - 5 seconds of summer
social casualty - 5 seconds of summer 
wild heart - bleachers 
dog days are over - florence + the machine 
the miracle of joey ramone - u2 
every breaking wave - u2 
song for someone - u2


(My corner of Narnia, and really artistic eggs and bacon.)

on instagram

I didn't post much on Instagram, but I do like the photos I did take. (Side note: if you have the app Mextures, is it worth a buy? The filters look amazing.) Here's my Instagram haul for September!

on tv

My brother and I continued to watch Breaking Bad, and finished season 3 on the 28th. Now we are working our way through season 4. Boy, are things getting... um, bad. But also very, very good.

I watched all the seasons of Parks and Rec that they had available on Netflix, and then rejoiced when they added season 6. (I plan to watch that ASAP.) I also started season 3 of New Girl and season 1 of the Blacklist (with my dad, and I love it so far).

I love Nick Miller from New Girl, by the way.


My mom, sister, and I have been watching Heartland, which I both love and dislike at different points in time. We also finished season 9 of America's Got Talent, and rejoiced when Mat Franco won. (I screamed. Which is rare for me.) Now that America's Got Talent is done, my various family members and I mostly just watch Chopped or Love It Or List It together.

My brother and I also started watching Utopia, a reality show that's... fascinating, to say the least. It's oddly addicting, and we can't wait for the next episode. (Hex is so cool. Seriously.)

I'm super excited about the upcoming fall television season, including but not limited to ... well, The Flash mostly, with my dear lovely favorite, Grant Gustin. (I also watched the season premiere of Selfie, because hello? Karen Gillan and John Cho? It was amusing.) It's gonna be a great year for television, guys! Let's be real--it already has been.


other media

books: I got a bunch of books from the library--Just Listen by Sarah Dessen, Delirium by Lauren Oliver, and Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas. Unfortunately, my desire to read has declined greatly. I don't know why? Thus, I started Delirium and put it down (because I can't believe the main character's real name is Lena, when for some reason she's in my head as Lauren), started Just Listen and put it down, and haven't begun Throne of Glass. Rest assured, I will give these books second chances.

I have Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell on my nightstand, and I'm so excited to read it that I haven't even picked it up officially. I just want to savor it as long as possible, I guess.

movies: Okay, X-Men! I've wanted to see the first X-Men for like... 5 years. And I finally did. And I... was... a little disappointed. You can read my thoughts on it here. (Oh, yes. I'm back on Tumblr, too, after several long absences! For now, anyway.)

note: I did not see X-Men: Days of Future Past. Nevertheless, this shall always remain an incredible poster.
I saw a huge cardboard version of it while seeing Cap 2 this past April. It was awesome.

in conclusion

It's been a heck of a month, and I can't wait for fall, NaNo, and... yes, even getting my wisdom teeth out, seeing as they're half-grown-in already. (Though I dread that as well.) I can't wait to write more, blog more, and watch even more TV! (And take even more pictures.) Check back in October to see my progress, and I'll see you in my next blog post!

Onward,
 Sky


Comments

  1. I'm new here, Hi, my name is also Skye but with an e. I have to say that's quite a few accomplishments in a month and I say good for you. When I saw your playlist I smiled, I really enjoy Five Seconds of Summer and the Wild Heart song. So happy to see someone else enjoys them. The Blacklist is one of my favorite shows, me and my dad watch it every Monday. Love the leather jacket and red lipstick, you look stunning. I love your blog super inspiring, sorry this comment is so long.

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  2. Your september does sound fabulous! And I love your pictures. ^-^ The zombie gif is still making me giggle...because it's just epic. ;-) And you seriously did amazing with all that writing this month! I wrote a grand total of 0 words. But October will be different. *dons writing battle armour* I'm going to a warm-up edit on something before NaNo. *nods* Which...if I DO it, it'll be my first NaNo. ;)

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  3. You are ahead of me in your word count for 100for100!

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  4. Wow! That sounds like a really busy September. I'm doing the 100 for 100 challenge too! *high five* Great photos; I wish I had the patience to do photography. (-:

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