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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

A Novel Idea: Three’s Company, Four’s a Crowd (Cobie, Fiona, Damian, and Astrid)

It's time for A Novel Idea again! I could hardly wait for the questions to premiere this week. And it was well worth the wait, because this has to be my favorite round of A Novel Idea questions yet. They're so good that I ended up just continuing to answer them about more and more characters because I loved how many simple facts they revealed. I mean, it's fascinating to consider what's on your character's nightstand, right?

At first I meant to feature only Cobie, then I meant to feature Cobie and Fiona. I had it written that way and everything. Then Damian and Astrid insisted on barging their way in. So here we go. *whispers to characters* I hope you're happy. Cobie and Astrid are from Petrichor, and Fiona and her best friend/love interest Damian are from the Because I'm Irish series.

If you haven't already checked out A Novel Idea, please do! It's hosted by Ashley @ Ashley Aspires and it's incredible, seriously. Check it out by going HERE, or by clicking the button at the bottom of this post.

Let us begin.


1. What is their favorite thing in the refrigerator? 
Milk. She loves a cold glass of milk. Also, ice cream. She's also, oddly, a fan of water.

2. What is on their nightstand right now?
A book that she hasn't ever read and has been collecting dust for two years (Catcher in the Rye). To give you an idea how long it's been there, she was assigned this book in high school, and she dropped out of high school a year or two ago. She also has an alarm clock and a vase full of dried purple flowers. (Her mother kept placing them there, but when she felt her efforts were not appreciated, eventually just gave up replacing them. Cobie secretly didn't mind the fresh flowers.)

3. It’s time for spring cleaning – what is easy to throw out and what is hard to let go of?
What's hard to throw out: her ripped clothes. Even though they're ripped and worn, she refuses to give them up. Some examples: her light blue ripped jeans (several pairs). She also will never get rid of her worn, banged up denim jacket.

4. They are getting ready for a night out. What are they wearing? Where are they going?
If Cobie is going to be forced to dress up, she'll be sultry about it. She'd be wearing a short, form-fitting red dress, with her hair up, carrying a clutch. She'd probably bring her rebel flair to it as well, maybe with some red nail polish or wearing casual footwear instead of appropriate footwear. (If she actually wanted to impress people and feel tall, she'd wear heels. If she didn't care, was forced to go, or wanted to stand out, she'd wear her combat boots. It all boils down to what mood she's in.)

As for where she's going, it would probably be a party or formal dance with her boyfriend, Ryker. Occasionally, she'll also have to attend church functions and dinner parties, as per her mom. (Those would be the occasions where she'd vengefully wear something rebellious. ;))


1. What is their favorite thing in the refrigerator? 
Cereal (though I know that's not really stored in the refrigerator, but you need one to get it...) Also, tangerines.

2. What is on their nightstand right now?
A lamp and a digital analog alarm clock, as well as a flyer from her band's latest tour, some Kleenexes, and her iPod.

3. It’s time for spring cleaning – what is easy to throw out and what is hard to let go of?
Fiona has a vivid memory and can remember things she wore on different days. So any item of personal significance is challenging for her to let go of. Even if there is a negative memory attached to something rather than a positive one, she still can't let it go. She keeps a lot of things. So the answer to the question of what is easy to throw out is... anything she can't remember wearing, anywhere. And what is hard to let go of: everything. Literally everything.

4. They are getting ready for a night out. What are they wearing? Where are they going?
It depends. Most of Fiona's "nights out" are spent as a violinist at her band's concerts. Because of that, she's often decked out head-to-toe in several different ball gowns throughout the night, with her hair up and really colorful, pretty makeup. (As you can probably guess, this is no rock concert.) She has several outfit changes throughout the show, but one notable dress is what she calls her peacock dress, which is blue and green with accents of peacock feathers, and soft-toned turquoise, green, and white eye makeup. She also once referred to one of her least favorite dresses as her trash-bag dress.


1. What is their favorite thing in the refrigerator? 
Again... um, cereal. Also, soda.

2. What is on their nightstand right now?
Considering he hasn't been home in months, it's probably pretty bare (back at home in Ireland). As for his living situations, he alternates between the tour bus and Fiona's apartment in Because We Can, so he's pretty much living out of a duffel bag in both situations. He does have a shelf in his bunk, and on that is his Kindle, iPod, a spare book that he reads when he has time (The Great Gatsby), ear plugs to drown out the noises of the others in the bus, and a granola bar. For all those midnight snack times, of course.

3. It’s time for spring cleaning – what is easy to throw out and what is hard to let go of?
Damian is pretty laid-back about stuff and gets rid of things really easily. If it has extreme personal significance, like a sweater his grandma knit for him or something (which is probably very possible), he'll keep it, but otherwise he doesn't mind getting rid of stuff.

4. They are getting ready for a night out. What are they wearing? Where are they going?
While on stage, much like Fiona, Damian is decked out. Often he's in full-on suits, though he does have more casual looks (a button up for example). If he's out on a date, he doesn't dress up nearly as much, and can often be found in a hoodie, Vans, and jeans. (He and Fiona tried dressing up for a fancy date once. It wasn't their thing.)

He'd probably be going on a date to McDonald's, or on a late night run for ice cream. It happens.


1. What is their favorite thing in the refrigerator? 
Anything she can get her hands on, really. For her, food is more a necessity than something extremely adorable. I do think she probably likes carrots, though.

2. What is on their nightstand right now?
Her pistol, Mere Christianity, a flickery old lamp, and an old worn Bible her mom gave her that she hasn't bothered to move.

3. It’s time for spring cleaning – what is easy to throw out and what is hard to let go of?
Astrid would burn her old clothes and old things if she could--at least certain things. With the memories attached to them, she doesn't see the point in keeping them around.

4. They are getting ready for a night out. What are they wearing? Where are they going?
Astrid is probably wearing her dressy outfit of skinny jeans, brown lace-up boots, and a cranberry-wine colored leather jacket. She's not a huge person to go for dresses, but if she does have to wear one, she usually goes for black and simple, with long sleeves and leggings.

* * *

NOW. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Go check out A Novel Idea. Seriously, go do it.

A Novel Idea

Also, Go Teen Writers is hosting the 100 for 100 challenge, where you write 100 words for 100 days. I've signed up and I'm most likely doing it! It's going to be a lot of fun. If you're interested, check it out here--but do it fast, because the challenge starts Monday, and I believe today is the last day you can sign up. Let me know if you do!


current petrichor word count: 72,453
days left to reach 100k: 47

this blog post was brought to you by the sounds of
 maroon 5 (maps), magic! (rude), & strange talk (young hearts)


  1. what, Damian's favorite food isn't glue? ;) :P
    (laughing because I searched for that ts word war after reading this)
    ((as always I love your characters))
    (((and you of course)))


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