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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

the 29th

i feel like i should put something down to mark this day in history. the 29th. the first leap year that i remember, and the last leap year for four more years. for once, this year has 366 days instead of 365.

but you probably knew all this. so i just wanted to write my thoughts down for this day...

except i have no idea what i'm thinking. at all. i'm too tangled up in my thoughts. help! ;)

so, i will leave you with the hope of more coherent blog posts in the future. just take this post as evidence that i experienced february 29th and lived to tell about it! :)

Comments

  1. Haha! I'm the same way right now! =D Too tangled in thoughts. ♥

    Woohoo!! Leap year! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yay for leap years! Even if it does put one more day between us and The Hobbit and The HUnger Games movies, haha!

    ReplyDelete

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