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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

A Writerly Sort Of Update.

[Yes, I like to make up words, such as writerly.]


It's day 22 of NaNo, and we're nearing the end of week three. So, I thought it was high time that I gave you all an update, considering this blog has been sparsely updated as of late.

I'm currently plugging away at my story, and have managed a wordcount of 46,103 as of yesterday. (I haven't written anything today. *gasp*) As for how my story is going... well, I have my ups and downs. It's... interesting. And I'm learning just how hard writing can be.

So, I'm exactly 3,897 words away from the finish.

I can do this.

I think I can, I think I can... ;)

The nice thing about NaNo is that it actually forces me to write. I love to write, don't get me wrong, but it's the actual writing part that's hard. In other words, I have an insane amount of plots but 0% motivation to begin/finish them.

However, this year I've realized how much I missed this. I've missed just sitting down and typing my heart out. Spilling words onto the page, be it in the form of ink or keystrokes. I want to write for the sake of writing, because I love it so much. I can't stop.

So, this is my official post letting you know this one thing: I've started writing, and I can't stop.

As for post-NaNo plans, I hope to edit Silver Tears once it's finished, and try to polish it as much as I can. Editing... well, it's going to be interesting. I'm not quite thinking about that yet. ;)

Ironically, I'm plotting another novel to work on when my NaNo novel, Silver Tears, is finished. Hopefully you'll be getting some sneak peeks of it soon. :)

Also, please forgive the lack of coherency in this post. It's been sitting in my drafts since earlier this afternoon, but I think I'm going to hit publish now before I keep going. I'm braindead, can't you tell?

Oh, one more thing! If you'd like to read a synopsis of my novel, you can go ahead and check it out on my writing projects page here.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, lovelies!

Comments

  1. OH MY GOSH!!! That's insane, girl!!! I bet you'll finish tomorrow or something! WOW!! Good going! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. You can do it, Sky! :) I'm glad NaNo is going well for you.

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  3. Wow! You're almost done! Congratulations =D

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