note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
Oh, ow! I literally said, "Oh, ew!" loud... but seriously, OUCH! I'm always wacking my toes on things, but thankfully haven't lost a nail!
ReplyDeleteWOW! I hate it when that happens. Because I dance, weird foot things are happening a lot, but they usually aren't blood related. Ugh, how painful.
ReplyDeleteiGirl/Dani
Ouch! That's awful!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! Ouch!! I hope that your toenail feels better. I hate nail-related injuries; they're so painful! Hope you feel better.
ReplyDelete--Bella