note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
OH MY GOSH!!! That totally rocks, girl!! I'm so excited for you!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
iGirl/Dani
Oh Sam, that is awesome! I'm slightly jealous but mainly just proud of you. That's so cool. :)
ReplyDeleteWahoo!!! You, my friend, rock. Totally. :D And whenever we get together, one day must be spent staying up late reading history books. Cuz history is awesome. :D
ReplyDelete@iGirl: Aw, thanks. That is so sweet of you. :)
ReplyDelete@Fin: Hahaha! Why would you be jealous about me dreaming that I was Elizabeth the I? Juuust kidding. ;) I have no doubt whatsoever that you will get a proof copy of your novel someday! Next year, perhaps?
@Half-Pint: Thank you! And yes, we totally need to do that! I'm so in. ;)
YAYAYAYAYAY!!! That is SO COOL!!! Now I feel totally motivated for this year's NaNo. ;)
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