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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Matters of Historical Importance

I've been reading about the Middle Ages and Renaissance time periods. We're doing a little school over the summer, and one of the subjects I esteem above all the others is history. I've been reading my history book like crazy, and in fact, I finished in this morning.

That's not the point, though. Yesterday, I read all the way from Christopher Columbus to Martin Luther while hanging out with my sister in the basement that afternoon. Then, I climbed into bed at midnight and read some more.

Yes, I'm crazy.

I ended up having dreams about being Queen Elizabeth the I, plots from others who want to steal my throne, paint samples, and Irish jigs that go through my head over and over and over again.

Needless to say, I did not sleep very well.

Anyway, speaking of matters of historical importance...


Reese's Pieces is now in book form.

Thanks to flambeau, my fellow moderator on NarniaWeb, for making the awesome cover - and thanks to Tina for adding in my author name, even though it's blurred. ;)

Of course, now it needs editing. As in, a major plot face lift. My plot stinks.

But you'll never know what an AMAZING feeling it is to hold your own book in your hands until you actually do it. It makes me feel that yes, I am a writer. And yes, I can do this.

Now, onto the third draft. :P


  1. OH MY GOSH!!! That totally rocks, girl!! I'm so excited for you!!!!!!



  2. Oh Sam, that is awesome! I'm slightly jealous but mainly just proud of you. That's so cool. :)

  3. Wahoo!!! You, my friend, rock. Totally. :D And whenever we get together, one day must be spent staying up late reading history books. Cuz history is awesome. :D

  4. @iGirl: Aw, thanks. That is so sweet of you. :)

    @Fin: Hahaha! Why would you be jealous about me dreaming that I was Elizabeth the I? Juuust kidding. ;) I have no doubt whatsoever that you will get a proof copy of your novel someday! Next year, perhaps?

    @Half-Pint: Thank you! And yes, we totally need to do that! I'm so in. ;)

  5. YAYAYAYAYAY!!! That is SO COOL!!! Now I feel totally motivated for this year's NaNo. ;)


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