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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

My Imagination’s Taking Me Away!

Ever since I found out about Owl City's new CD, I've been awaiting it with anticipation. Then, when Alligator Sky was released off the new record, I thought it was weird.

It wasn't long before I fell in love with it.

I listened to it again tonight and could NOT stop hitting repeat. I couldn't understand why I liked it so much.

Then it hit me like a spaceship. (Pun thoroughly intended. :P)

I love this song because of Avary.

Where was I, when the rockets came to life?
And carried you away into the alligator sky?
Even though I'll never know what's up ahead
I'm never letting go
I'm never letting go!

In case you haven't met Avary yet... here's a glimpse of her style.

This probably won't make much sense unless you know what Avary's novel is about. I can't tell you all of it - since every author has her secrets - but I can tell you it has to do with spacecraft, stars, dear old scientists, and visiting other worlds. In other words, it's the essence of Alligator Sky. Imagination.

Remember to breathe
Because it'll take your breath away
When the engines cough
And you blast off
Ignite the night with a firecracker flash

Remember to live
Because you're gonna be thrilled to death
When the stars collide and your eyes grow wide
Take it in with your breath against the glass

Avary isn't the only character in this novel, either. There are others. Violet, Brian, Sawyer, Dr. Flanigan. They all make up this amazing novel that I call mine.

And believe it or not, I have started this novel. It's coming slowly, though. It's just one of those novels that's like soup. There are a whole bunch of ingredients that come together to make a whole. And it's going to have to simmer for a while until it's ready. But just like soup, you hope it comes out right. And somewhere, deep down, you know it probably will.
Roller coaster through the atmosphere
I'm drowning in this starry serenade
When ecstasy becomes cavalier
My imagination's taking me away

Reverie, whisper in my ear
I'm scared to death that I'll never be afraid
Roller coaster through the atmosphere
My imagination's taking me away!

Until then, I can only dream about stars and spaceships and dear old scientists. And until then, I feel like yelling this at the top of my lungs:


Because... it really is. ;)


  1. I *love* that song. Especially the version without rap. Adam Young has a gift for words--the images and emotions he conjures up in his songs are breathtaking. They communicate those things we all feel--especially writers and creative/artsy people--but can never quite express.

    I discovered Ocean Eyes a little over a year ago and have NEVER looked back. :D I cannot WAIT for All Things Bright and Beautiful! "Galaxies" is another amazing song. Powerful.

    And don't you love it when a song just PERFECTLY syncs up with a story/idea you have?

    Here's to imagination!


  2. I would +1 this, but you don't have that option. :P love the set!

  3. Hey, cool! I love Owl City! My friend loves that song. :)
    And I think I'll check this Avary now that you mentioned it. Thanks!!

    ~Sarah D.~

  4. Cool! I really want to read it, even though it's not published, of course, I would want to read anything from you!


  5. I absolutely adore Owl City's music! I want to meet Adam Young just to give him a hug. :) He's awesome! And that song, just like all of his, is amazing. :)

  6. This entire post is amazing. This is my new favorite song...discovered it when a friend told me about it a couple months ago.



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