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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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A Long-Awaited Accomplishment

Originally posted on my HSB blog, January 25, 2008

My grandparents visited the other day. Although we live near each other (about an hour away) we don't see each other as often as we would like, so it was a treat to see them. My grandpa had just had surgery on his eyes and so was sleeping while he was here, so my grandma decided to help me finish my tiered skirt. I started my skirt a LONG time ago, probably the summer of last year, when Grandma was teaching my cousin and I how to sew. My cousin finished hers before mine, about a couple months ago, on a day when Grandma worked with her individually, and I've been needing to finish mine for a while now. Well, Grandma helped me work on it on Tuesday, and then came again on Thursday to do the final touches. Now, it's mostly finished, and I wore it once. The bad news is I think we may have sewn a pin into it, since when I sat down something poked me! I really hope not. I am really excited about completing this, since it was a project I needed to finish, and one of my goals for this year.

Another cool thing about it was that I was running out of thread on my bobbin, so Grandma and I were praying that it wouldn't run out before we finished. (I got my machine the Christmas of '07, and I haven't learned how to completely use it yet.) Well, we finished, with even some thread to spare!!

My skirt has the top of some old jeans on the top of it (with the legs cut off) which really saved time with the waistband of such. Then there are about 5 tiers of red and white patterned material. I really like it, and hope to post pictures soon.

Well, sorry this is so quickly written. I am in a bit of a hurry!

Kylie (I'll add my siggy in later)
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