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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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Get to know me a little better!

Originally posted on my HSB blog, January 11, 2008


5 Random Things About Myself:

1. I like the color lavender.

2. I just watched National Treasure on New Year's Eve, and REALLY enjoyed it!

3. My grandma is teaching me how to sew.

4. I want to learn to play the guitar.

5. I am currently reading the Chronicles of Narnia for the bajillionth time!


5 Weird Things About Myself:

1. I am double jointed--on both pinkies!

2. I can wiggle my eyebrows.

3. I don't have a favorite animal, but I really like cats.

4. I really like squash, especially with brown sugar on it--YUM!

5. I like creamy tomato soup, but I don't like chili.


5 Things On My Desk:

1. Computer monitor, mouse, keyboard.

2. Glasses of water.

3. 3x5 cards.

4. C.S. Lewis & Narnia For Dummies

5. A calculator


5 Of Your Best Friends:

1. Jesus Christ.

2. My family.

3. My cousin.

4. N/A

5. N/A


5 Things You Love To Do:

1. Read

2. Write

3. Blog

4. Crochet

5. Make templates

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alizona's tag:

8 Things I'm passionate about:
  1. Jesus Christ
  2. Narnia
  3. My family
  4. Reading
  5. Blogging
  6. Writing
  7. HTML
  8. Crafty-type things, such as crocheting
8 Things I Want to do Before I Die:
  1. Learn more and become closer to God
  2. Learn to be a servant and have a better attitude
  3. Get married and hopefully have kids
  4. Write at least one book and hopefully publish it
  5. Visit another country (maybe England or Israel)
  6. Trust God
  7. Follow God's plan
  8. Ditto!
8 Things I Say Often:
  1. "Do I have to take a shower?"
  2. "Just a second..."
  3. "Mom, can I do the computer?"
  4. "I love you."
  5. "Lord, help me..."
  6. "I need help..."
  7. "I got a comment from so-and-so."
  8. "So-and-so replied to my e-mail..."
8 Books I've Read Recently
  1. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
  2. Prince Caspian
  3. Voyage of the Dawn Treader
  4. The Silver Chair
  5. Books on C.S. Lewis
8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over:
  1. The Narnia Soundtrack
  2. Lots of songs by Danny Oertli
  3. Any sort of Celtic music
8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friend(s):
  1. Her love for God
  2. Her loyalty as a friend
  3. Her good attitude
  4. How she and her family act
  5. Our love for reading/writing
  6. That she's so fun to be around
  7. Her acceptance of me no matter what
8 Things I've Learned This Past Year
  1. Lots of things in school
  2. That I enjoy home EC
  3. Several Bible passages, such as Ephesians 6 and Psalm 91
  4. That God does things in his own timing, not ours, and that He has a plan and purpose for our life
  5. More HTML
  6. To be myself
  7. To give myself grace
  8. That time is precious
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