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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Beautiful People: Kess (#2)

I'm jumping in just before the linky closes to participate in Beautiful People for May. (Yes, yes, I do realize it is June now. I'm trying to get back into posting and writing, so what better way to do so than by participating in BP?

If you haven't joined yet, you can find out how here.

Today I'm talking about my character Kess Matthews. Kess has been around for about two years, and I've featured her a couple times before. However, I only just recently started trying to rewrite Metal and Bone, so I have even more incentive to get to know Kess even more.

She's a mechanic who takes care of her two younger siblings and lives on the coast in San Francisco. An ISTP, Kess looks at everything in a logical fashion and is constantly trying to understand how things tick. She does have a wild side, however, and will often be found with a different hair color each week.

1. How often do they smile? Would they smile at a stranger?

Kess is actually pretty pensive at first, but once you get to know her, she smiles often. She would probably not smile at a stranger because she'd be too caught up in her own little world, but if a stranger smiled at her, she'd certainly smile back.

2. What is the cruelest thing they’ve ever been told? And what was their reaction?

The cruelest thing was unintentionally cruel, but it was the news that her parents had died and it was implied to be her fault.

3. What is the kindest thing they’ve ever been told? And what was their reaction?

That she has a beautiful smile. She blushed, but she hid it down deep inside her for rainy days.

(Please enjoy a badly photoshopped picture I did.)

4. What is one strong memory that has stuck with your character from childhood? Why is it so powerful and lasting?

Going to the beach with her parents before her siblings came along. Her father threw her in the ocean and she and her mom made sand angels. It's a lasting memory because Kess remembers being so dang happy.

5. What book (a real actual published book!) do you think your character would benefit from reading?

This is HARD. Um... maybe I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson? I just think she'd enjoy the prose.

6. Have they ever been seriously injured? How severely? How did they react?

Kess accidentally cut her hand in her early days of being a mechanic. It wasn't too severe, but since it was on her palm, it hurt a ton. She reacted by swearing up a storm, then bandaging herself up.

7. Do they like and get along with their neighbours?

Yes! Kess' neighborhood is extremely well-knit, and even though Kess is a fairly private person, she still has made deep relationships with her neighbors, especially after her parents died.

8. On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being easy and 10 being difficult) how easy are they to get along with?

I'd say about a 6. She's hard to get to know, but once she lets you in, you're golden.

9. If they could travel anywhere in the world, where would they go?

Paris or Barbados. Paris because it's the city of love, and Barbados because of the warmth and the tropical atmosphere.

10. Who was the last person they held hands with?

Either her siblings or her significant other, depending on the day.

Want to join in the fun? Link up here!


  1. If that's a badly photo shopped picture then I have no business using it at all. I like her sense of style.

  2. She sounds like a fun character to write and I love all her different hair colors. ^ ^ Best wishes writing her!

    My BP from last month:


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