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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

A Novel Idea: Astrid & Cobie

 These are my girls, and I love them.

For A Novel Idea this week, I'm featuring Astrid and Cobie again. I was thrilled to find the above pictures that matched them both almost perfectly. I love both of these characters so much and they've taught me a lot about life and myself.

I'm participating in A Novel Idea--a blog meme hosted weekly by Ashley @ Ashley Aspires. Every week, Ashley posts a handful of questions for you to answer about your characters, your novel, or your writing process. If you haven't checked it out yet, I highly recommend it! You can check out this week's link-up by going here.

If you haven't met Astrid and/or Cobie yet, they're my main girls in Petrichor, the novel I'm currently working my butt off to finish. Here's a link to their previous posts for A Novel Idea: Astrid #1Cobie #1Astrid and Cobie #2, and the entire Petrichor cast. For those of you just joining us, Astrid is logical and closed-up, and Cobie is outgoing and adrenaline-seeking. Complete contrast, right? In my latest writings, a tentative friendship between them is blooming, and I adore it. So it seemed only right to feature them. I love writing about them and I'm excited to share them with you again!

So here we go!


1. Could they ever lie to someone they love? Under what circumstance, if so?  
Ha, yes. She's kept her past a secret from everyone, including her best friend Blade. Incidentally, Cobie's the only one that knows, now.

2. What words do they overuse? 
I honestly can't think of anything except the beginning of Petrichor, where she called Blade ... um, "dumba**." (Sorry. My characters are little rebels. I couldn't change them or control them, even if I wanted to. ;))

3. What qualities do they like most about the opposite gender? 
Astrid has shut herself off from perceiving most attractiveness since relationships with the opposite gender scare her, but her weak point would be tight shirts across broad shoulders. Like, uh, tight black t-shirts on a certain other character of mine. (I didn't say anything.)

4. What do they fear most? 
Her ex-boyfriend, Asher, as well as being alone and abandoned.

5. What is their idea of happiness? 
A world where she feels safe and can seek peace and tranquility, including but not limited to when she's alone. I know that's a contradiction of her biggest fear, but the difference is that while Astrid enjoys solitude, she still wants her family to come home to at the end of the day.


1. Could they ever lie to someone they love? Under what circumstance, if so? 
It would be intensely hard for her. If it was for a good cause, yes. She has occasionally twisted the truth in an effort to protect her little brother, Tommy. If she wanted to shelter or protect someone, she would.

2. What words do they overuse? 
The word bada**. It's her aspiration to be so.

3. What qualities do they like most about the opposite gender? 
Smartness, which her boyfriend Ryker has in bucketloads.

4. What do they fear most? 
Losing the ones she loves, being alone as well.

5. What is their idea of happiness?
Being free to do what she wants, seeking the next thrill over every corner, and breathing in the mountain air with the sunlight on her face. 

hey sister, do you still believe in love i wonder? 
oh, if the sky comes falling down
for you, there's nothing in this world i wouldn't do.

Check out A Novel Idea, a blog meme for writers everywhere! 

A Novel Idea


  1. Your characters sound so awesome, I'd love to meet them in real life(-; Are you planing on publishing your book?

  2. I love the pictures you chose though. They are so super cool and I just adfjakld. I like this book. (What I read of it.) I like it a lot.


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