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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Chewing Is Overrated

There are probably several reasons I haven't blogged in a while.

  1. I rather enjoyed having Liam Hemsworth at the top of my blog this whole time. *awkward confession* No, really. My Ryan is pretty cool.
  2. I've been lacking inspiration. Seriously. Let me know if you find him.
  3. And last but not least, jaw pain.
I've had chronic pain for my whole life and was recently diagnosed two years ago. One of the symptoms that has recently reared its ugly head is jaw pain.

At first, we thought it was TMJ. It may in fact be TMJ. However, I went to the orthodontist about two weeks ago, and we had a startling revelation.

My jaw is severely misaligned.

The diagnosis?

I need braces.

Since then, my jaw pain has increased for some reason. Today I could not chew anything. I ate yogurt for breakfast, had two protein shakes for lunch, ate soggy corn flakes as an afternoon snack, and then had sweet potatoes and tiny tiny pieces of pork chop for dinner. *sigh*

Anyway, I'll try to put up some new material on the ol' blog soon. And if you see Inspiration, please hog-tie him and send him my way. Thanks!


  1. Aw, sorry you're feeling poorly. That's never fun. :(

    Hope you get to feeling better soon! (And I'll help you look for Inspiration...he's been hiding from me, too.)


  2. Inspiration's done a runner on me too - I shall hunt him down, mash him up and bring him to you with icecream. Hope your jaw feels better soon! Or, gets better ... you know what I mean!

  3. I know the feeling! When I had my wisdom teeth removed, I could barely talk, could only eat ice cream and milk (it might sound like heaven, and the first day was. But 3 days of just ice cream and chocolate milk? Horrid. I now no longer like ice cream in a bowl). It was so annoying. Every time I wanted to tell some one something, I had to write it down. Or sound like like I had really bad cleft pallet. :-?

  4. aww, I hope you're feeling better soon! ♥♥ and I can't wait to hear more from you...I'm sure you'll catch up with that tricky little inspiration eventually. ;]


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