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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

let go and let grace

i have some drastic news to tell you.

you can't earn God's grace.

i know, it's hard to accept it. but it's not possible to live life by yourself.

you will fall. you will mature. you will get back up again. you will fall again. you will fail. you will hold onto God's hands.

and you will grow.

grace and growth go hand in hand. grace takes growth, and growth takes grace.

and growth and grace take God.

you can't do it by yourself.

you can't.

Christianity is not about trying to make yourself better. 'self-help' books that they sell in Christian book stores drive me crazy sometimes, though not all of them do. i think it's just the genre that i resent. 'self-help'? what's up with that?

we can't help ourselves.

we have to just be us. love God. hold onto his hand. and let the potter refine the clay.

what are you holding onto? your pride? i know i am.

your hope? i know i am.

Jesus? i know i have to. otherwise i'll never get through.

grow. let God. let go. let grace.

why do we have to depend on religion to keep us in tact? that will never work. in fact, we'll only fail. we'll never measure up to the standard.

but Jesus did. and does.

we have to let go of our guilt to have his glory. we have to admit that we are nothing, and he is something.

as I read on this blog this morning, "I am enough because I AM is enough."

what more could be said than that?

a radical change of love could overtake the church. the bride of Christ. but it's only if we let it.

sometimes i wonder if it's us that are holding us back. you know? i'm holding myself back from abundant life. from joy. i'm choosing to be anxious. but i can't do that. not anymore. i have to step outside my box and be free.

i have to let go, and teeter on the edge of this precipice.

and trust God to catch me when i fall.

linking up with Five Minute Fridays @ The Gypsy Mama. this week's word is grow.
>>click here to participate, too.<<


  1. Our sermon series at church right now is about grace and your words here echo what my pastor has been saying for the last few weeks. :) "Grace and growth go hand in hand." I love that.

    Happy Friday.

  2. Beautifulllll, I loved that post. :) So true.

    God bless,

  3. Good post!


    P.S. Check out the photo contest I'm hosting!

  4. Like Emily, I love the line..."Grace and growth go hand in hand." SO true...

    So thankful for His grace...and the privilege of holding His hand while I grow in Him.



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