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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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Ordinary Heroes

It's midnight, and I just got done watching the movie Unstoppable. Basically, it's about a train... that is unstoppable. It was my first real suspense movie.

It's midnight, and I should be sleeping, but I'm too excited to sleep. There's something about the adrenaline rush; the feeling you get when you see ordinary people do heroic things. I want to write something just as amazing, a story about someone who does something heroic.

You get all stressed over the outcome. Will they win? Will they lose? Who will live? Who will die?

And then the end comes. And you are completely, utterly satisfied.

Ordinary people doing heroic things. That's the kind of person I want to be.
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  1. Georgianna PennOctober 16, 2011 at 8:25 AM

    Yay! You watched Unstoppable! I love that movie!

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  2. Classic KniteratureOctober 16, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Ah, I have yet to see that movie, but it sounds good! I remember feeling the same way when I watched my first suspense/thriller movie; Eagle Eye. It was so amazing and awesome, and I loved the characters so much!

    But it is something to think about that, although fictional, they are normal people just doing the next thing, and doing what they feel is right. It really is inspiring.

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  3. SananoraOctober 17, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    I know what it's like to get that feeling :)

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