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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Beautiful People: Torin

So, it's time for Beautiful People, and this time I'm not posting it way late. Last time around, I accidentally posted my BP post a day before the next month's version came out. Oops.

Ahem. Carrying on.

This character is in the plot that will tentatively be my NaNo plot. His name... is Torin.

1. Do they have any habits, annoying or otherwise?
Torin has a very roguish, rebellious personality. So, depending on your view of such characters, he could be endearing. On the other hand, certain habits of his will be annoying whether they're meant to be or not. In fact, you're apt to be annoyed with Torin himself.

However, he does have a few habits in particular that can definitely be classified as annoying. The biggest one is cracking his knuckles. The second is the way he manages to defy authority in pretty much everything, and is very willing to debate his point of view. You could see the latter as both a strength and a weakness, I suppose.

2. What is their backstory and how does it affect them now?
This is all very tentative information, but here goes.

Have I mentioned how hard it is to write backstory?


About an hour later, after procrastinating, writing a bit, and then playing Clue, I have written out a full paragraph. The best part is, BP has helped me come up with a backstory... and a plot! Hooray!

So here is the short version of the story... and the most vague.
The King of {Insert The Name Of Their Country Here} had a brother, and Torin is the son of that brother. Shortly after Torin was born, his parents mysteriously disappeared, and were never seen again. The cause behind this is unknown, but Torin believes that the King was responsible for this somehow and had his parents killed on purpose. Because of this, he has always resented his adoptive father. He tries not to show it, however, because he's convinced that he'll inherit the throne.

3. How do they show love?
Love? Ha!

Just kidding.

Believe it or not, there are a select few people that Torin loves. However, he's not very good at showing it... but he tries.

If Torin loves you, he will most likely:
A: Respect you. Mostly.
B: Give you flowers... maybe. If he can find them. And if you appreciate flowers. Preferably if you're a girl. Like his sister-formerly-cousin, Chasiel. Okay, okay. He only gives flowers to her.
C: Smile. Possibly. If he feels like it.

4. How competitive are they?
Let's just say it's not a pretty picture at all when Torin loses.

5. What do they think about when nothing else is going on?
He's always wondered what happens when people die, or if there's an afterlife - this is largely brought on by wondering about his parents and what really happened to them. He thinks about sword-fighting, one of his favorite things. He also ponders what will be for dinner that night, and whether Chasiel will force him to take a bath.

6. Do they have an accent?
Depends. Do you?

I didn't think so.

He either has a British accent or an American one. The verdict is still undecided.

7. What is their station in life?
He is a prince, unfortunately, and he resents it and loves it all at the same time.

8. What do others expect from them?
His father expects him to behave. The world expects him to behave in a princely fashion. And Chasiel expects him to change his attitude and keep his room clean.

9. Where were they born, and when?
He was born in a {City Whose Name Is Yet To Be Determined} in a {Nameless Country} in a certain year that isn't set in stone yet. Isn't that so amazingly clear?

10. How do they feel about people in general?
He likes them. Kinda. If you like him, then at least he'll try to be civil to you.

P.S. - if you'd like to join Beautiful People and haven't yet, click here for our latest round of questions!


  1. I loooove the name Torin!!!! sounds like a pretty cool character ;)



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