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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Keep Calm And... Call Batman?

The place? Last night. The time? One in the morning. I was trying to get myself off to the land of dreams, and it wasn't happening.

You know that place in between asleep and awake?

I'm in that place.

It's dark, and quiet. I'm on a walk with a guy that apparently means a great deal to me. It's late evening, and we're in some magical place I didn't even know existed. There are lights hung all around, that reflect in a beautiful fountain spraying water everywhere.

It's beautiful.

And then I look down at my clothes.

And promptly burst out laughing.

It must've been dark when I got dressed this morning. Or else I have short term amnesia and have no recollection of putting this on. Whatever it is, I'm wearing a rather amusing outfit. A bright yellow tee sporting the words, "Keep Calm and Call Batman."

Keep Calm and Call Batman?

Why?

It's paired with gray skinny jeans, a black tank, and yellow flats. A pink flower is in my hair.

Well, this outfit looks pretty awesome if I do say so myself.

keep calm and... call batman?


I don't know where I get this stuff.

We had a magical walk, and I don't know for sure, but it might have ended with splashing in the fountain. At any rate, I've always wanted to splash in a fountain, whether I'm wearing a Batman t-shirt or not.

This dream launched me into sleep. And when I woke up, I made it into a Polyvore set.

I really want a Batman t-shirt now, just so I can wear it on a magical walk by a fountain. And of course, if anything goes wrong, I know exactly what to do.

Keep calm. And call Batman.

Comments

  1. Any dream with anything Batman in it must have been awesome. Btw, I want that shirt. A lot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Georgie: It was. And I thought you might. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, this was just...randomly awesome. Totally made me smile.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha! That's really sweet. I can't read anything in my dreams for some reason.

    iGirl/Dani

    ReplyDelete

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