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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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Edmund

Edmund is one of the characters in Narnia that I find the most dynamic. He's such an amazing picture of how all of us need grace and someone to save us. C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors and he never fails to surprise me - I can always think of something new and incredibly genius that he put into his books that I've never seen before.

Anyway, I had a major inspiration kick this week and made some graphics using lyrics from some of my favorite songs that remind me of Edmund. These blends are some of my favorites that I've ever made, and I wanted to share them, along with the song lyrics. (If you're reading this from the mailing list, you'll have to go to my blog to view them.)



{Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
- Who I Am Hates Who I've Been, Relient K}




{When he looked at me and said
I kind of view you as a son
And for a second our eyes met
And I met that with a question
Do you know what you are getting yourself into?

I'm getting into you
Because you got to me, in a way words can't describe
I'm getting into you
Because I've got to be
You're essential to survive
I'm going to love you with my life
I've been a liar and I'll never amount to
The kind of person you deserve to worship you
You say you will not dwell on what I did but rather what I do you say
I love you and that's what you are getting yourself into
- Getting Into You, Relient K}

[Please don't use these graphics without my permission. Feel free to ask!]
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Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 24, 2010 at 8:57 PM

    Wow, nice graphics, great work!
    Blessings,
    Meggie

    ReplyDelete
  2. Miss EyebrightMay 31, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    Beautiful blends, Sam!!! <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. LilyMarch 1, 2011 at 7:42 AM

    EEEP!!!! Do you mind if I take one?

    ReplyDelete
  4. JaimeSeptember 20, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    AWESOME. Narnia + Relient K= totally Epic!

    Also, I think Relient K's song... Hope for Every Fallen Man is PERFECT for Edmund. :) And their Christmas song... It's Always Winter (In Like A Lion)... but that's for Narnia in general. :D

    ReplyDelete

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