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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Wow. Just...wow.

I love this more than anything.

Writing is in my soul. Creating was what I was born to do.

Lately I've been co-authoring, and my friend and I have been writing yet another novel. But not tonight.

Tonight, God wrote through us.

The chills won't stop. I could feel Him. These were not my words. They were His. They are His.

Lord, my books are Yours. I am Yours. I don't want to write unless you are there, writing with me and through me. Show me the way, guide me and let me always love you.

Let Your words be my own.

Comments

  1. I love you, Skylee. I love that you are so willing to give your books, your writing, yourself to God. I've been struggling in this area and God just directed me to your blog [I haven't even checked email yet so I had no idea you updated!]and...oh wow. Thank you, Kylie, for the encouragement.

    *tight hug*
    Love,
    ~Half-Pint

    ReplyDelete

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