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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Beautiful People: Fiona and Cobie



Last week, I shouted "AHHH I MISS YOU SO MUCH." The person I missed? Cobie, my character from Petrichor.

Because of this, I'm featuring Cobie in this month's Beautiful People. But I'm also featuring Fiona, the protagonist of the book I'm (re)writing right now. So enjoy the double feature, y'all!

(I can also think of no better thing to do on International Women's Day than highlight two of my favorite female characters that I've written.) I wrote this on IWD, but didn't publish it until today.

Let us begin!
Fiona
1. What is their secret desire?
To play violin at Radio City Music Hall, whether it's for an audience or just for fun.

2. What is the best and brightest moment they experience during the story?
Going to Ireland, where she feels safe.

3. What are the emotional places your characters are afraid to go to?
Pretty much every single one. Fiona hates being vulnerable.

4. Is there a place/city/room where they will never go? Why?
She dislikes going home to New Jersey, but she does have to go there from time to time to see her parents.

5. If they were permanently leaving town, what would they easily throw out? What would they refuse to part with? (Why?)
Fiona would have trouble parting with her violin, but she'd also have trouble parting with a lot of things. Underneath her tough exterior she's actually very sentimental. She'd throw out things that were of no importance to her, like maybe old papers or something, but other than that she'd try to keep the things that meant something to her.

6. What do they want (consciously and tangibly)?
Fiona wants to be safe and not on the run anymore--from anything, whether it's a physical person or her emotions. She wants to be at peace.

7. On the other hand: what do they need (on the emotional, subconscious level)?
Her tangible want and her emotional need are pretty much the same: to feel safe and relaxed and peaceful. And then she also wants the answer to #8.

8. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?
She wants to change how bitter she is, but she doesn't know how.

9. What is the most humiliating event of their life?
When she was rehearsing to join the Irish boyband, and she was running and tripped and almost broke her nose.

10. What things do they turn to when they need a bit of hope?
Doctor Who, quotes on Goodreads and Pinterest, her friends.



Cobie
1. What is their secret desire?

To see as much of the world as she possibly can.

2. What is the best and brightest moment they experience during the story?
Going to the cove with her best friends, and then staying at a diner eating french fries dipped in ketchup late into the night.

3. What are the emotional places your characters are afraid to go to?
She's most afraid to address the things that scare her. She tries to ignore them so they'll go away, but this becomes increasingly difficult as the threats to her town become more and more real.

4. Is there a place/city/room where they will never go? Why?
Nope. Cobie will go anywhere.

5. If they were permanently leaving town, what would they easily throw out? What would they refuse to part with? (Why?)
Cobie isn't very sentimental, but she'd hold onto all her clothing, as ripped as they are, and her black nail polish. She'd also hold onto her polaroids that she's taken on all her adventures. Everything else can go. (Cobie is really unattached, so she'd be the kind of person well-suited to a nomadic lifestyle.)

6. What do they want (consciously and tangibly)?
To marry Ryker and to be accepted by her parents and the rest of the town.

7. On the other hand: what do they need (on the emotional, subconscious level)?
To accept herself, and others, for exactly who they are, flaws and all.

8. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?
She'd want to make herself less insecure. While she looks confident, she's often projecting.

9. What is the most humiliating event of their life?
When she showed up drunk at church.

10. What things do they turn to when they need a bit of hope?
Her best friend, Blade. The polaroids she's taken of her friends, tinted with summer light and the echoes of laughter.


Comments

  1. Fiona and Cobie both sound like very realistic characters. I don't read many contemporary novels :)

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    1. Thank you so much! As authors, I think the ultimate goal is realistic characters, so I really appreciate that!

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  2. Oh hey, a new design! Looks fabulous, Sky :D (The scrolling is a little weird, though, so look into that maybe?)

    Anyways, YAY FOR BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! (I never managed to fit into the blog this week, which is sad, but oh well.) I adore Fiona -- love characters with hobbies, especially musical hobbies. But Cobie's black nail polish tempts me very much.

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    1. Thanks so much! I think I've finally settled on a design, haha. Thanks for the heads up on the scrolling! I've noticed it's a bit odd too. Not sure how to fix it, but I appreciate you letting me know!

      Aww, that's tough. I can't wait to read whenever you do end up doing a BP post, though! And thanks a million! I agree 100%. It's my goal to obtain black nail polish sometime. (And, actually, it would be awesome to be able to play violin like Fiona, too. xD) Thanks so much for the comment!

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  3. Beautiful characters, I share more traits with Fiona. Wish I was more like Cobie though.
    You had me at Irish boy ban. :)

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    1. Thanks so much, Skye! I really appreciate the compliments. I agree. I'm MOST similar to Fiona as well, though both of them are similar to me in different ways.

      Haha! Thank you very much. It's a favorite topic of mine. ;) Thank you tons for the comment!

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank you so, so much, Emily! I appreciate it a ton.

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  5. The photos are beautiful! But both Fiona and Cobie sound so relatable. I too turn to Doctor Who, quotes on goodreads and pinterest when I'm feeling down. :D

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    1. Thank you so much! And ahhh, characters being relatable is a HUGE compliment. Yes, same here! (Not so much with Doctor Who, but with other shows!) They are ALWAYS good sources for encouragement. ♥ Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment!

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  6. I LOVE how your incorporated these beautiful images into your post -- they really created an atmosphere and brought the characters to life.

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    1. Thank you so, so much! I had a hard time picking images for this post that would most accurately reflect my characters, so this is a HUGE compliment. It made my day. Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. They sound really cool and three dimensional. ^ ^ I'm also really sentimental lol.

    Stori Tori's Blog

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    1. Thanks, Victoria! Me too. That's something Fiona and I (and you!) definitely have in common. ;)

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  8. Hooray for strong female characters! :) They both sound awesome, and like their journeys lead to awesome ends. I hope you keep developing them more and more! :D

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    1. Thanks a million, Heather! Your comment made my day. I love strong female characters, too. (Um, obviously. ;)) I'll definitely be developing them more and more--they're here for good. ;) Thanks again for stopping by!

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