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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

So It Begins: NaNoWriMo 2014

I haven't posted yet this month, which is a travesty. But I have a good excuse: I've been doing NaNoWriMo. Add to that the remnants of dry socket, and any semblance of a social life I once had has disappeared on the wind.

But that's alright. It happens. Just like dressing up like The Karate Kid at 1am during NaNoWriMo happens.

That's right. NaNo has hit with all the subtlety of a freight train, and I'm in the full swing of things. Right on time, my writer's doubt hit full-force today, as I wondered why on earth I decided to write this novel. I miss my other characters, like Fiona and Evyn, too much! I'm getting inspiration for other novels! I don't like Evee's name! (I'm slowly changing my mind on that last one.) But for now, I shall power through. I just introduced the titular characters, the Lost Girls, in chapter two, and that's helping. (I keep changing character names, as well as their spelling, in the middle of the narrative, but oh well. It happens.) I'm getting a grasp on who Evee and the Lost Girls are, and what the rest of my plot will entail. Slowly, I am regaining my excitement.
current wordcount: 7,289
current chapter: two

I do have to say, Chapter One went really well, especially writing from Jem's perspective. (She's a lovely character and I'm excited to get to know her.) Writing about science labs and mergers has been simultaneously the most boring and exciting things in the world. I'm mostly really excited because I've already created two full-fledged corporations and have practically made my own universe (that's reminiscent of the cities in Arrow and The Flash, actually). On that subject, unfortunately, I've already descended into the weirdness of NaNo by giving Barry Allen from The Flash a cameo. (It was awesome, not gonna lie. But what to do when I start shipping him with one of my characters?) 

My NaNo novel has already sabotaged me by bringing in a character I didn't anticipate: Dr. Susannah Lovelace. She's Jem's boss and she's played by Cate Blanchett and she's seriously really cool. Professionalism and cool rationality is absolutely her forte, and I foresee her becoming seriously kick-butt. I already love her.

And although we've had a rough beginning, I thiiink I do love this novel, too? It's definitely been a bit difficult so far. However, we're definitely getting acquainted with each other and I'm looking forward to seeing what this story is all about.

So, here I go once again on my sixth (sixth?!?) NaNo. It's simultaneously exciting and terrifying all at once.

And because I'm blithely pretending to be professional at this NaNo business, (I'm completely not), here are some tips for the month ahead, my fellow NaNoers:

1. Sleep more than I do. (Probably not hard to achieve.)
2. Coffee, (or any caffeine, really) is your new friend.
3. If you're pressed for time, write as much as you can in little spurts. It helps a lot.
4. Word wars are your other new friend. *
5. Find a writing buddy, anyone! The community is irreplaceable.
6. Take breaks for Pinterest, breathing, and going outside every so often.
7. Don't be afraid to skip ahead to the good parts. Seriously, it's okay. Whatever keeps you writing, do it.
8. Update your wordcount often. It's inspiring to see that wordcount bar keep rising.
9. Write crappy. Like I said... whatever keeps you writing. It's just the first draft! You can fix it later.
10. Don't give up! You decided to write this novel for a reason. So write it. The world needs it; I promise.

How's NaNo going for you? 
What's the most unexpected, NaNo-esque thing to happen so far in your novel? Best NaNo tip?

Ah, and if you'd like, feel free to add me on the NaNo site. My username is ScarlettGamgee
Leave a comment here with your username so I know who you are!

* Definition of word wars: 
You find a friend, set a timer, and write for that certain amount of time. Whoever has the most amount of words "wins", but really, for me, it's just fun to write with other people.


  1. I think you said the very best NaNo tip of all: don't be afraid to write crappy. YES. Although that's like my biggest writing advice for any first draft. x) Mine are notoriously bad, actually usually I just want to get them over with I hate them so much But I'm really REALLY enjoying my ghost story for once! I can't wait for BB so I can talk about it. hehe.

  2. YAY! I am so excited about my first try at NaNo. Thanks for your tips! I'm trying to learn all I can from the experienced bloggers around. I love how you have a personal relationship with your book and characters, that must make things exciting.

    My name is Weather Enthusiast, I'd love to be your writing buddy if you'd like!

  3. Tip number 6 is at the top of my list. I always have a book nearby as well as tumblr open. I challenge myself to write 200 hundred words at a time and then I'll stop and browse or read for five minutes. It works well for me. :)


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