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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,
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cake and rain (aka the great gatsby)

i haven't seen the movie yet, but i like this shot.
“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” 
 ― F. Scott Fitzgerald 

It’s raining right now, and rain and books have infamously gone perfectly together, which leads me to say that I started reading The Great Gatsby last night. Three chapters in and I’m already loving it.

His descriptions. He described the celing as a cake. Who does that? And he describes the
stars as a “silver pepper across the sky” (major paraphrase, but hopefully you know what I mean). That’s just beautiful, my gosh.

It’s masterfully written and I can picture it perfectly. I can’t say how much I enjoy being swept away to Staten Island during the roaring twenties, a place with big mansions and lavish parties and hot summers. (Summer is beginning in real life, which makes this book even better.) I don’t think I realized books could be this vivid. Or at least, it's been a long time that I read one as vivid and easy-to-picture as this.

I don’t normally like most classics, but this is one I’m beginning to fall in love with. Have you read it?

P.S. - my copy has a picture of F. Scott Fitzgerald on the back. When I first saw it, I freaked out because it looked so much like Tom Hiddleston. True story. (I see why he played Fitzgerald in Midnight to Paris now! Although, I haven't seen the movie. But Tumblr and gifsets can tell a girl everything.)

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.” 
 ― F. Scott Fitzgerald
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  1. AnonymousJune 4, 2013 at 6:38 PM

    Two years ago, I read it in a day in a half/two days.

    I remember being captivated by it. I feel a re-read coming on...

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  2. CG @ Paper FuryJune 4, 2013 at 7:01 PM

    I want to try this book! I'm terrible with classics though...my brain likes to speed-read and if I do that in classics I miss waaaay too much. Still. Anyone who describes the ceiling as cake is awesome.

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  3. MimeJune 4, 2013 at 8:50 PM

    Wow. Ceiling as cake? I don't suppose Peeta Mellark did the decorating...?

    ReplyDelete
  4. writingsofrosieJune 5, 2013 at 8:32 AM

    If you like the book, you will really like the new movie!

    He does kind of look like Tom Hiddleston, doesn't he? lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJune 11, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    Hi MountainFireFlower, Gatsby was really very good, the end kinda threw me however, didn't know it was going to end that way. But very very good, well written. No wonder it's a classic!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rebecca Danielle GregoireJune 19, 2013 at 6:43 PM

    I read this book in school, when I was 13, and truth be told, I HATED it. But I re-read it and now I can actually appreciate it, being older (and not forced to read it in school!)
    I SO want to see the movie--I've heard it's really good!
    Following your blog! :)
    Rebecca Danielle Gregoire

    (By the way, I used to follow your blog when I was younger, then stopped blogging, and you're my only blogging friend who's still at it! Which is really cool to see since I'm back at it now with a different blog)

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