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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,


I'm sorry. It appears I left my blogger friends in the dust.

This is what has elapsed in the time that I haven't posted. Well, actually this is more recent. As in, the past week. Does that still count?

  1. My laptop was repaired. Happiness.
  2. I have made about 16+ avatars in the past three days upon getting my laptop fixed; thus being reunited with Photoshop once again.
  3. I started biology.
  4. I came up with a novel idea. Literally. 
  5. Life has been interesting.
  6. I got a Photobucket account.
  7. I've been writing. Er, trying to write. But really, I've just been procrastinating.
  8. I split a pack of Owl City t-shirts between me and two other friends.
  9. I bought a Josh Wilson CD, along with a book called Jesus Calling. And a journal. All three of which have been very instrumental in my spiritual walk.
  10. I wore my Converse for the first time since before summer started. ♥
  11. I've learned that it's okay to be imperfect. I'm still learning.
  12. God loves me.
  13. Oh, and I got the new Blogger interface. I like it so far, to be honest.
  14. I realized I still need to do Beautiful People.
  15. Fifteen is a good number to end on, don't you think?

Anyway, how's your life?


  1. Ah, I'd love to see your avatars! It makes me think that I need to get designing again myself...I've got a couple of pictures that would be fun to use.

    A Photobucket account, eh? Is that because of the lame Flickr 200 pictures only policy? (I'm still miffed about that one.) ;)

    Love ya!

  2. GASP! Can I hear your novel idea? Please? Pretty please with macaroons and gummy bears? Please? I'll love you forever. Okay, I already do, but still!!
    Great post :))
    -Jocee <3

  3. I recently just wore my converse for the first time since summer started, too! My feet felt so wonderful and at home. :)


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