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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,


You've heard about Avary. Probably more than you've ever wanted to. She's the one who started Beautiful People, because you asked me questions about her. And slowly, she started to become a story.

 I've tried multiple times to start this story, but every time it didn't feel right. Until tonight.

 Tonight, inspiration hit in the form of 965 words. Almost 2 years ago, it hit in the form of a dream. And tonight, I started my novel.

I started writing about bottles, and the words came from there. Avary slowly became a reality, and her story is soon to follow.

I'm feeling both trepidation and excitement. I've never began a project this big. This is something I've spent blood, sweat, and tears over.

And now it's become a reality.

I'm not sure where this novel will take me or what will happen. But I'm excited.

I'll spare you a remark about how this is just the "first step in the journey" or something like that. Instead, I'm just going to ask if you could pray for me. I want God to guide this story, and I think He already is.

It's going to be interesting, but worth it. I can't wait to send my message in a bottle.


  1. Yeah! I love when inspiration just smacks you like that. :D I'm praying for you, Sweet Skylee! :)

  2. that's really awesome. I'm working on a ...personal... true story, novella type thing right now. It's really personal -- it's -- I don't even know how to explain it. Anyway, I've been writing about 200 words a day, and I thought that was good considering school and my "business" but wow. i'm super jealous now. <3


  3. Yay! I'm excited for you! I love when, after so long, I finally find the right words to start a story.

  4. ... and I can't wait to hear more about your message in a bottle.

    Here's the hug I want to give you but can't.... *HUG*

  5. Hannah Grace: Thank you so much, Half-Pint! It means a lot to me! :) I'm praying for you too. *hugs*

    Bleah: Oh, that sounds so fascinating! You'll have to let me know how it goes. :) 200 words is actually amazing, considering it's hard for me to write at all at this point. Inspiration is very very fleeting. :P The fact that you're being consistent is great! Keep it up!

    Fin: I know, isn't it amazing? You'll have to tell me how your writing is going... and NaNo is around the corner. :-o Eek!

    The Director: Aww! Thank you so much for the hug! It means a lot. I can't wait to tell you more about it! :) *HUG*


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