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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Beautiful People: Fiona (July 2015)

In honor of completing my rewrite of Because I'm Irish, I'm using its protagonist, Fiona, for this month's Beautiful People. She's been around since 2011 so I know her like the back of my hand, but it's still really helpful to learn even more about her and write down real, official answers instead of keeping it all in my head. So, without further ado, here we go!

1. What’s their favourite ice cream flavour?
Mint chocolate chip.

2. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What are they wearing? Who will they be with?
Depends on where she's going, but Fiona probably wouldn't change out of her yoga pants unless it was really something special. Even then, she'd only upgrade to jeans. She will wear a dress if you make her, but she'll fight you every step of the way.

3. Look at your character’s feet. Describe what you see there. Do they wear dress shoes, gym shoes, or none at all? Are they in socks that are ratty and full of holes? What do they consider comfortable and what do they consider agony?
Most of the time socks or barefeet, but her favorite pair of shoes are her tangerine Converse. She likes her socks to remain un-holey. She also considers any other shoe besides sneakers or flip flops agony.

4. Do they have any birthmark or scars? Where are they and how did they get them?
Not at the start, but Fiona does sustain scars as the book and series go on. (Ooh, how mysterious!) Her trademark is pale skin.

5. What kind of music do they listen to? Does it change depending on their mood or is it always consistent? (Feel free to share samples!)
It changes, but Fiona really enjoys indie and her favorite musician is Florence + the Machine.

6. Do they have any musical talent? Play an instrument? How’s their singing voice?
Fiona really cannot sing (except she's convinced the acoustics in the shower help her sound better), but she plays violin.

7. What kind of book would you catch them reading?
Non-fiction or autobiographies. She'll read a YA novel if it comes highly recommended.

8. How would they spend their summers (or their holidays)?
Doing nothing of importance, honestly. Fiona has no hobbies. It's a problem. (She'd probably go home and visit her parents in New Jersey, though.)

9. It’s Saturday at noon. What is your character doing? Give details. Ex. If they’re eating breakfast, what’s on the menu? Are they hiking, shopping, lazing around?
Fiona is probably sitting at her counter in her apartment in New York City, trying to decide what on earth to eat for lunch and whether she wants to go out into the city to eat or just make something there. 

10. Is there anything your character wants to be free of?
Yes--she's not overly fond of her work situation at the moment (that's an understatement).

Thanks so much for reading! What's your character's favorite ice cream flavor?
If you want to answer all these questions, join this month's version of Beautiful People here!


  1. Any Florence + the Machine fan is a friend of mine haha! I love her name. ^ ^ Pale skin people unite! My skin is so pale. XD I did Beautiful People too. ^ ^

    1. I have pale skin too, so it's easy to write about. XD Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts!

  2. Oh, I love this. She sounds AWESOME and I want to read moreeeee.

    1. Aww, thank you, Aimee! The dream for me is to get published, as always, so hopefully you'll be able to read more about Fiona in the nearish future! Until then, I'm sure I'll feature her again in BP soon, since I really enjoy writing about her on the blog. :D Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Love Florence and the Machine :)
    And her dilemmas = relatable. If I am off work during a mealtime I waste way too much time trying to decide if I should make the effort to cook, or go out, or just read a book and snack on whatever's in the fridge.
    Since I'm late to the party (as usual), what is her job in NYC? Reading this, I was struck by how real Fiona seems (and I love her name). And bravo for finishing the draft, btw.

    1. Rebekah, thank you so much! Your comment made my day, since it's my goal to make Fiona as real as possible. Fiona's job in NYC is working at Chili's, but in the story she ends up getting a job with a band as their touring violinist! She's not overly fond of either, but she makes the touring thing work. ;)

      Thanks so much for the congratulations and for stopping by! ♥


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