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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

Beautiful People: Ben Carter

I finished typing up the last page of my hand-written novel, Reese's Pieces. So, in honor of the mostly-completed 2nd draft, I'd like to introduce you to another dearly beloved character of mine.

{Ben Carter.}

Ben Carter

Ben is the kind of guy who's very laid-back and likes to tease you about EVERY. THING. He has a quick wit, and a wonderful sense of sarcasm - though it depends on who you ask. He's the best friend to Reese's brother, Justin, and is basically her unbiological older brother, too. And to be honest, he'd probably be very mad to find out that I'm referring to him as a "beautiful person."

Also, I named my bass guitar after him. :P

Ben, meet bloggers. Bloggers, meet Ben!

What kind of music does he/she like?
Rock music, and anything with a good beat. He plays drums, so that may have something to do with it.

Does he/she like to go outside?
Yes, he likes to take walks, and occasionally play games of Frisbee and football.

Is he/she naturally curious?
Yes and no. He's kind of impartial to a lot of things, just because he doesn't really care. But if it's something he cares about, then yes, he'll want to find out more about it.

Right, or left handed?
Right-handed. :)

Favorite color?

Where is he/she from?
A small, nameless town in Colorado that does not exist. :P

Any enemies?
Nope... though he has people he gets along with better than others.

What are his/her quirks?
He has an iPhone, he likes to eat ketchup with his eggs, he doesn't like getting his haircut, and he has a weird phobia of spiders.

What kinds of things get on his/her nerves?
He really, really, really does not like banjos.

Is he/she independent, or needs others to help out?
He's definitely very independent and if you try to help him, he may or may not let you. ;)


  1. "A small, nameless town in Colorado that does not exist." LOL! That was funny. :)

    Nice to meet you, Ben! :D

  2. Eating ketchup with eggs isn't a quirk...:D

    I just finished typing one of my (many) handwritten drafts--I feel your happiness!

  3. Banjos. THAT's funny :D

    I loved it, Sky! :D


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