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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,

"i thought you fell off the face of the earth..."

iGirl's comment on my last post made me realize that I kind of went MIA in the blogging world. No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth, and no, the internet did not eat me (though it tried to). And in fact, I was thinking of posting tonight, if only I wasn't so tired and needed to get off soon. So, this is just a public notice letting you know that I didn't die, I'm just editing my novel. (And Georgie's if you want to get technical.)

Heh. Heh. Wish me luck! :P

(A more substantial post will be coming soon, about Owl City and Owatonna and choco tacos and alligator skies. And stuff like that.)


  1. Yay! You're not dead! What a relief. ;)

  2. Yay! The internet didn't eat you!! I'm so happy

    ::) <--- four eyed alien, because of a typo that ended up looking cool. ;p


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